Willing to Sacrifice

We've all been there. Those days where you go to Church, and you were MEANT to be there. The Lord completely talks to YOU. The priest may as well have said your name while he was giving the homily. And your children are even quiet so you can hear it! Today was one of those days...

Well, let me rewind. It really started yesterday. I was frustrated with a few things at home, and decided I was going to go take a shower. By some absolute miracle, I got a shower with no interruptions, and took the time to pray and pour out my heart on a few issues. Things that were happening in our lives that I was feeling excitement, but also bitter and jealousy over. Things where my husband was wanting to do things, big goals really, and I felt like saying "But what about me!?!" I was having a pity party because he has goals, he's making himself better, he's doing things for God. And me? Well, I was bummed that "my" dreams and goals consist of staying home and teaching our kids for the next 17 years or more and 'just' being involved in our women's ministry. (I put "my" because well, I'm not sure that it's my goals and dreams, but I know it's what we want for our kids and what God has called me to do.)

Anyway, I was praying in the shower, and trying REALLY hard to not do all the talking, and instead trying to let God talk to me. I eventually heard Him say to stop holding my husband back, that I was truly being selfish about this. That marriage isn't about ME. And same thing with my kids and homeschooling. I got out of the shower with a different look, and two things I knew I was going to change. I told God that I hated not having a goal, and He whispered a goal I can have. One that I want, but don't want. You know, a goal where I want the end result, but not the work that goes with it. So, I"m still praying about my attitude on that.

So back to today's Homily for ME. It was on John 12:20-33. It was regarding the piece of wheat that falls to the ground, and if it dies, it produces much fruit. But if it doesn't die, it remains just a piece of wheat.

Our priest kept asking "Are you willing to sacrifice to let someone else live?" He said it over and over. And it was like God asking me "Aimee, are you willing to sacrifice to let others be what I need them to be?" To be the small thing that supports the big things. Am I willing to stop saying "What about me?" so that my husband can do the things God needs him to do? Am I willing to knock out the "What about me?" so that my children can grow up with the best education possible for them, learning more and more how to love and serve God and others? Am I willing to sacrifice myself for their lives, for their lives to be lived to the fullest for God? Am I willing to sacrifice to make them Saints?

Then I thought but that's so hard! I'm not sure I can do that. And God reminded me "Aimee, you've already been doing it. You've already sacrificed 8 years of a career for your children and for following your husband through military moves... You've already gone through surgery four times for your children. You're a mother and a wife. You sacrifice every day, and it's what you're called to do. You've been doing it all along with my help, and I will be here to help you through all these other sacrifices."

Well, I can't really argue with that, can I? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13)..Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends (John 15:13)....Lord, please remind me of these verses when Satan or society tries to whisper to me and asks me "What about you?".

Six months gone, and here we are

I know, it's been forever since I posted, but I had very good reason. My husband was deployed for 6 months, and I just did not feel comfortable advertising all our happenings while he was away. It was a very busy 6 months, and we are just this week getting back to a normal.

Just before he left, we decided to rearrange our house. We took the huge 'office space' that contained Jon's desk, all my craft supplies, and junk, and converted it in to a much larger classroom. The old classroom we turned in to a 'library' with several book shelves and our prayer altar we had always wanted. Schooling in this larger room has been such a great experience this year. We began school right after my husband left, using a new program- St. Thomas Aquinas Academy. I really liked that they planned everything for me and told me what to use, etc. especially given that I wanted to spend all the time I could as a family, and not planning school, right before my husband left. However, we won't be using them the coming year. They were great, really they were. But I just didnt have a need for the guidance to make it worth all the money we spent, so we won't be using them at this time. This coming year, we're going to start using RC History. This is a Catholic Unit study. I have always wanted a unit study curricumulm, which is part of the reason I went with STAA, as they advertised they were. However, there was no unit study while using them, other than combining a few subjects for Zach and Hannah, which I already did. So we'll be using RC History and a hod podge of other things I've used and has worked great for us. I'm sure i'll do another post on that later down the road.

During the time Jon was gone, his sister Emma came and stayed with us for 3 months. During that time, we did tons of traveling. We went to Paris for 4 days, Koln, Luxembourg and Bastogne, Domremy, France, Bingen, Trier, and several Christmas markets. I will post a few travel posts in a few days about some of our travels. I was so greatful for all her help and company for those 3 months. It was also wonderful getting to know one of Jon's sisters so closely.

Aside from this, to keep my mind busy, I discovered chalk paint, and redecorated a lot of our house while Jon was gone. We had 3 mismatched bookshelves in our library, which I painted a dark brown with teal on the inside. Then I made letter plates that hung on the side saying "Read", "play", and "Sing". I also moved our game shelf in to the library and moved the prayer altar in to the den. They both fit there so much better. I also rearranged our den some, and with the help of my awesome neighbor, arranged my books in a much more lovely way to show off our book collection and make them stand out a bit more.

With all this said, my husband returned a few weeks ago, and started back to work this week. We took the time off school while he was home, so we're getting back in the routine of school as well. My 1 year old is busy terrorizing everyone doing their school work, trying to take their paper, pencils, and turning lights on and off. She's very busy and makes school a challenge, but it's a well-worth it challenge. This girl brings us such joy. We just forgot what it was like to have a 1yo. My 6yo daughter is in a play, which keeps us very busy with practice twice a week. Hopefully in the near future, my son will be starting karate as well. And my 4yo is beyond happy to have daddy back, as she's such a daddy's girl.

Anyway, that's about the briefest update I can give for 8 months of not posting. Here's to hoping I start posting more, but as we all know, i'm not that great at it.

Rain, Day trip, lots of kiddos, and more

There are so many things in life I am thankful for. One is that my children are great friends and can entertain themselves for hours. It has been raining non stop for the past two days. Just a light drizzle. I could send them outside, but then that means I'd have to give baths again and I'm not in to that today ;-) Instead, they have been playing LEGO all day without many fights and not telling me once that they are bored. They even took a 20 min break to help me clean up around where Beka is crawling.

Yes, that's another bit of news. Beka began crawling last week. She hit 8 months this weekend, and is enjoying crawling, pulling herself up, and eating solids, while making fun messes. We aren't big in to purees, so she's eating everything we eat. YUM to salsa chicken the past two nights- black beans, corn, rice and chicken. She got her bottom two teeth about a month ago, so those have helped some, but she'd be fine if she didn't have them.

Last week was insane, but I think the kids loved it. Our dear friends who watched our kids while Beka was born and are her godparents, they had their baby. So of course, we watched their kids. Unfortunately, there was some small complications, making the baby have to stay much longer than planned, so we had their kids for 8 days, and then 2 afternoons until mom and baby were able to go home. It seems so quiet in our house now! And we all 9 survived.

Weekend before last, we drove two cars and took the 7 kiddos to Belgium to visit a Trappist Cistercian Monastery, Orval Abbey, with our Catholic homeschooling friends. Jon had a lot of fun telling our Abby "Hey Abby, guess where we are. At an Abbey!!" (Similar to how they use to tell their sister Mary "Merry Christmas" all the time.) WE left with some yummy monk cheese and Belgium beer.

 These are the ruins of the first buildings they had.

 Me and my snuggle bug sound asleep.

 Jon and all the kiddos minus the baby... and his beer.

 More of the Monastery. 

THankfully while there were so many kids here, the weather was beautiful and they spent many days outside, using their imagination like crazy. Here, the kids created a barefoot park. Each section had something different- rocks, mud, dirt, etc. During the time, Hannah also learned to ride without training wheels, and Zach lost another tooth (making it 5 now).

I wish I could say we were preparing for our coming school year. But alas, I sent our information in to the new program we're using and haven't heard back yet. I hope I do in the next few weeks, because I know it'll take a while to order our books, which has me freaked out a bit. We've still been doing lots of reading this summer and continuing to work on math. 

The only other thing in life right now consists of telling a lot of our friends goodbye as they are PCSing. Tonight I'm going to a farewell dinner for a very, very dear friend whom I met in TLF our first week here. Three years later, and she's leaving. We should technically be leaving as well, but have extended so have two more years. I'm thankful we have two more years, but incredibly sad to see so many of my very good friends leaving. This particular friend has been an amazing friend and example to me in so many ways. I'm so grateful she's been in my life these 3 years. 

Memorial Day Weekend

Wow, it's only been 21 days since my last post. I'm doing better! ;-)

This was a great Memorial Day weekend, and Jon wasn't even here! Jon left at 4am Friday to head on a men's retreat in France at an Abbey. The kids and I got to go to mass on Friday with our homeschool group, then one of our good friends and 2 of her kids came over for a while. The evening was laid back, but then I was awake until 1am and not sleeping so well with Jon gone.

On Sat., we were going to go on a culinary walk with our friend, but I was just too tired and exhausted. I sent the kids otu to play and tackled my kitchen. It took 2 hours, but it looks MUCH better. I have counters again! Again, a relaxing evening.

Sunday I actually got up at 6:30 and made it to church at 8:15, which is normal. The people who usually run setting up for mass were all out of town, so another gentleman and I were doing it. (I usually help, but am not in charge) We were really able to work together to make sure everythign was set up correctly, and it just felt good. I love being a doer (Martha much?). Mass went surprisingly well and even though the kids weren't perfect, I left not frustrated with them. SO we went to grab some breakfast. We saw our friend there, and she joined us for breakfast, which was nice having some adult conversation and getting to see her for a bit. CAme home and decided to clean up my room and put my new duvet cover on... the one I've had for about 8 months and haven't used yet ;-) It looks so pretty and fancy in our room!

Monday, I was determined to stop letting the fact that hubby wasn't here stop me from doing things. I"m very much a "Ehh, I'd rather do it with him" so not go type person. I know I can do things without him. We do the grocery store all the time without him. It's just the sight-seeing stuff. It's more fun with him. But alas, it was Memorial Day. I know there is an American Cemetery from WWII just an hour away (Plus the great French grocery store right down the road from it) so our plan of leaving at 10, turned to 11:15, took place to head there with me, the kids, and a picnic lunch. We got in the car and decided we were hungry already so started eating. When we got to St. Avold, France, i realized I saw no signs for the cemetery like I was expecting. Thank Jesus the French put maps on their streets everywhere, so I pulled over and was able to find it. Or so i thought... I found the GErman cemetery. Another map stop, and I finally found the American one. 10,000+ crosses and stars, making it the largest American cemetery in Europe. The kids kept themselves busy as kids do by counting all the stars. They were SOOO well behaved. We had a large conversation about where we were going, how to behave, etc. and they did great. This is the 3rd American cemetery we have visited (Normandy and Luxemburg being the other two) We then went to the grocery store and got our favorite, Speculous and Speculous cookies- YUM! and headed home.

Hubby came home about an hour and a half after kids were in bed. We spent a good 2 hours sitting on the couch talking about our weekends. He had an amazing and spiritually refreshing time at an Abbey in Font Gumbault with a bunch of monks. This has been a bi-annual trip with several men in the area for a few years, but this was the first Jon was able to make it. I can tell it was really good for him.

He has an amazing end to his story. One of those give-you-goosebumps type. So I decided I'd share. On their way back, they also stopped at an American cemetery. This was one from WWI- Aisne Marne American Cemetery. They had all of the Memorial Day festivities on Sunday. As they were talking to the curator, the cemetery was about to close and he asked the men (9 Catholic Knights of Columbus military men) if they'd like to help him take the two flags down. They said of course. Then the man said one of the flags had actually been retired, but they couldn't find it on Sunday, so they had used this one instead. Then he said "Hey, would you guys like this flag?"!?!? They of course said yes, so he took them in to the office and printed out a certificate, etc. The flag that flew over this important cemetery during the Memorial Day celebrations. As they talked on, he told them that the cemetery was on Knights of Columbus Road (Ok, that's not the name, but it was the French name for that, although I looked it up and it's not on google maps, so I don't know) ANyway, they were confused since KOC is an American group. Come to find out, the KOC had come in and helped rebuild the cities around the cemetery after WWI, so it was named in honor of the KOC. They are taking the flag back, getting a shadow box for it, and hope to hang it in the priest's office.  It was such a neat story!

Thank you Lord for all the men and women who have given their lives for our freedom.

6 month old, Florida, Homeschooling and More

It's only been 4 months since I posted. Life hasn't been busy in the least. ::Sarcasm:: Short overview:

Baby girl turned 6 months old yesterday! She's trying to sit up on her own and loves to stick her tongue out. Sometimes that will include raspberries. She is absolutely in love with her family- siblings and daddy especially- especially when he sings. He loves to sing to her while she's nursing, because she'll stop to look at him and smile, then go back to eating. The two of them will do this several times before he quits

.We spent an entire month in FL, mostly during March. I flew alone with the 4 kids in the SC, and then Jon flew in 2 weeks later. My brother was moving to Hawaii (Army) and it just so happened to be the same time we were going to be in town for my best friend's (of 22 years) wedding. It was wonderful to see him and his family before they left, and wonderful to be a part of my best friend's big day. It was also great to see the rest of my family, and for the kids to get to be back and Nana and Papa's after having lived there for a year, and not being back in 2.5 yrs.

Germany never snowed this year, other than a few flurries. It has been wonderful weather already, in the 60's and even a little 70's. We're loving it, with the kids going outside almost every day. We bought an awesome picnic table, and have been eating dinner outside about 4x a week or so. We've planted several window boxes of flowers and are enjoying doing yard work, going on long walks (We went on a 5+ mile family walk on Sunday!) and Jon's getting back in to biking.

Homeschooling is going well. We're trudging along, ready for the year to be over. I think we have about 6 weeks left, which isn't too bad considering we took time off around the baby's birth, and time off when in FL. We've been using Catholic Heritage Curriculum, but are now going to be using St. Thomas Aquinas next year. I've always wanted more of a unit study type program. I had been looking in to Five in a Row, and was going to keep using our same religion, handwriting, and math because I liked them. Then someone told me about St. Thomas, and they use FIAR, along with the same religion and HW, and will likely allow us to stick with the same math. The other benefit is that we'll have a person that helps us tailor things to our family. For example, they'll be able to help me with Hannah's advance reading. At 5, suppose to be entering K this coming fall, she is reading all the American Girl books in less than a day, Magic Treehouse, and so much more. Zach is also advancing really well with reading now, but his books tend to be more science based- any books about critters, volcanoes, fish, etc.

In not such great news, Jon is deploying in August for 6 months. We won't be moving back home this time for a multitude of reasons. However, Jon's sister will be coming to stay with us for 3 months it looks like, which will be an amazing blessing, and put both my mind, and Jon's at ease some. I think we're both nervous, not from a me-handling-kids standpoint, but because I've never lived alone for more than a week or two in my entire life, and diabetes can be scary for that. BUT... we'll do what we can, teach the kids well, and pray for the best. I'm not the first diabetic to be alone. Please keep our family in your prayers though as we prepare for him leaving. He will miss everyone's birthday except mine, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and our anniversary.

But because he's leaving, we're trying to make travel plans. Our top two trips at the moment are Legoland- two boys have been dying to go!- and Poland. I've been really wanting to do a pilgrimage there- see Warsaw, Krakow, etc (and stock up on more Polish Pottery!!) Maybe one or two other short trips in there as well. Plus I'll likely do some traveling with Jon's sister being here. Maybe we'll take the kids to Paris since he has no desire to go and the kids desperately want to see the Eiffel Tower! ;-)

One of Those (Good) Days

Have you ever had one of those days were at the end, you sighed and thought "Today was a good day!" That was today. Nothing too exciting, but all good. I spent the morning taking care of some business type work. Then the German Post arrived with a box of insulin pump supplies. It was a first getting a package through them, so it was slightly cool.

Then we began school at 11am. We always pray and then do the Pledge. My kids got a huge kick when we stood to do the Pledge and I said "In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit." haha! Our first subject was Religion, where we were talking about the Beatitudes. ::Sigh:: the Beatitudes. Is it wrong of me to say I'm not a fan? Why? Because I have a hard time understanding them and get lost in the whole thing. So to then teach them to my three very  young children, ahh! Well, I'll just say religion was not very successful. They stopped listening about the 2nd Beatitude. I had a craft planned to help them get it more, but they had no care what so ever, so we moved on. I figured we can retry down the road.

Then we began handwriting. I clearly hadn't looked ahead in handwriting because normally it's just copywork, but Hannah brought hers to me and asked about it. OH FUN! HOMOPHONES! We had a lot of fun talking about this big word, and surprising daddy with our knowledge when he got home from work (Homophone- words that sound the same but are spelled differently and have different meanings). It was awesome seeing them come alive talking about it and engaging. Then Zach worked on math, where I showed him a neat addition trick with 9's. Hannah spent all of 2 minutes on her 2 pages of math. I tried to read the story of St. Peter to them today, but baby girl would have nothing to do with it. Then I also began looking through our syllabus and realized there are some things I should have been doing that I somehow have forgotten this year. Guess we'll be working on them the rest of the year. This reminds me of a story from last week. They were looking at a piece of art that had two scenes in one-Jesus preaching to the multitudes and Jesus calling Peter on to the water. My kids said "Yeah, there's two Jesus' to show that Jesus is everywhere." That had not been in our book or mentioned. I loved the way they saw the picture!

After school, we had lunch and I told the kids to get done quickly. The sun was shining beautifully, so even though it was like 37 degrees, we set out for a long walk. It was so wonderful. About an hour and a half later, we returned and headed to the grocery store. The grocery store consisted of me using my mommy talents to nurse Beka while walking, while having 2 children push the grocery cart. (Keep in mind, in Europe, grocery carts go every way, not just straight...) I asked for a special meat I wanted, to be surprised at how expensive it was. I ended this trip by attempting to buy two bottles of lieblich (Sweet) wine and kinder eggs for the kids (Do you know what they are? Awesome chocolate eggs with a toy inside- illegal in the US bc of the small toys and huge fines are possible if we get caught sending them! Insane right? Gotta love America...)

We came home, to have our landlord (lives across the street) open her window and tell us "No electric" Apparently it was out for the whole neighborhood. WE went in the house and had a few fun moments of doing things with flashlights and candles. Husband was headed to a meeting, so I loaded the kids up, and we went out to eat at our favorite little Pizzaria (Where hubby would be going anyway after his meeting). I was impressed with my children. They were soooo well behaved and I managed all 4 at a nice restaurant alone. The baby was making this German couple giggle, esp when she got hiccups. We came home to the electric being back on, and the kids being very disappointed. Maybe one night this week we'll have a pretend-the-electric-is-out night for them. ;-)

In other news, while i have free hands and arms, and I'm using the chance to make a blog post, yesterday was our 7th Anniversary. My husband, who does not believe in cards and flowers, surprised me with both. Seven (for our 7th year) Gerbera Daisies (my favorite flower). He's good! And the card... well, it said exactly what I needed to hear. We actually celebrated on Sat. with a sitter for the older three. We went to see "Saving Mr. Banks"- oh my! GREAT MOVIE. I told hubby we must buy it. Right up there with the Blindside for me. THen we went and ate dinner (8:30 reservations- we're becoming German!) at a castle, where he had lobster soup and deer steak, and I had DELICIOUS pumpkin soup and salmon. We then talked about every year we've been together and discussed some memory from each year, aside from kids' births and moving, since we've done a lot of those in 7 yrs (4 kids, 5 moves).

There were other small details about today that I wanted to put in this post, but I can't remember any of them. I have started a new chore system that I'm excited about and I think will work for us. I've really been struggling trying to keep up on the house and need some kind of way to keep them responsible for chores, but I needed a way to get chores that NEED to be done, done. Each kid has one laminated sheet with their name and 1 through 31 across the top. On the side is a list of all kinds of possible chores for them. The rule is they have to do 3 a day (Except today thanks to walk and lack of electricity), and they can earn an extra quarter if they do more than 3 in a day. We did this for one month and it worked wonderfully, but that was a one month chart. With this laminated, I can use dry erase each month. We're all pretty excited about it and I got them all to do some chores this morning before school. Unfortunately the dishes are still waiting for me at 9:15pm! Boo! So with that, and free arms... I have dishes to do and laundry to fold. Good night world!

Trenches of Motherhood

Have you ever looked around your house and said "How did it get THIS bad?" Wasn't it all cleaned up just a few days ago? And the laundry! I swear it was all folded AND put away last week, and now I have 15 loads piling up to fold. Oh, please don't look under the table, as there's enough food down there to feed a crawling toddler.

No? Well, go away then. :-P Because that's where I am today. So while three kids are outside playing, the baby who is tired from 2mo shots today is sleeping, I'm sitting here eating leftover mac and cheese and blogging. WHy? Well, because I can't clean and eat duh! However, I did load the dishes and sweep the kitchen before the mac n cheese. (Shh... it was only because I HAD to make some coffee, even though it was noon, and I was tired of stepping on the crumbs while doing the dishes...)

My husband made Beka's doc appointment for today, because well, we don't have touchtone dialing on our phone so I couldn't "push 1 for pediatrics" when I called. And he made it for before 8! Crazy man! At least he stayed home with the other 3 while I went with just her. I think that even though I hadn't had coffee, and only one eye was really open, I remember the important things the doctor said, that it's ok she hasn't pooped since last Friday since she's breastfed. Anyway, I thought that because I was up so early, I'd be able to come home and just get busy on housework. Ha, an hour after I got home, I woke up from a nice nap and NOW I can do some work.

Anyway, this is motherhood. I've come to that conclusion. My house is going to be a mess for years to come (And has been for years). And I just gotta suck it up and deal. I'll clean what i can while they're outside playing. Will I put their stuff away? Heck no. I'll likely sweep everythign in to a big pile, and when they come in, they'll have about 15 minutes to get their stuff and put it away. Or else...

But you know what? It's worth it. Why? Because the messes of toys and Popsicle sticks are because they have incredible imaginations. The crumbs and dishes are because I'm able to feed my children. And the laundry, I'm able to cloth my children, way more than I even need to be able to do. These are such blessings that the mess isn't a big deal when I focus on those things.

How we got her name

Rebekah is 1 month old today! The past month has been a blur and I can't believe it's already been a month. We are still in a babymoon. With that said, I think the story of how our daughter got her name is a really neat story, and one I'd like to share. 

We'd been trying to get pregnant since last April (2012), when we got pregnant, then had a m/c in June. We'd continued to try since then. I know, not a long time, but it felt like a while. 

In Feb. 2013, we went to Prague and prayed before the Infant of Prague. It is said that many people who pray there end up conceiving. A few weeks later, we found out we were pregnant. So I've felt this child was a gift from God since the beginning.

Soon after we got pregnant, we started discussing names. Jon was set on a boy's name, but a girl's name just kept going through my head. I had no feelings about a boy vs girl, but felt strongly about the name Rebekah/Rebecca. I told him that and we decided to give up the name discussion til we knew. After we found out it was a girl, I told him again. He wasn't fond of it, but started thinking about it, and agreed the name sounded good and felt right. 

But he had 2 requests, could we not spell it Rebecca, and could her middle name be Agnes. I cringed. I did not like Agnes at all. But he was agreeing to the first name, and I could at least consider Agnes. And truthfully, I didn't care how we spelled it, and I liked the Biblical Rebekah form, so that was fine. I began to pray about Agnes. We googled "St. Rebecca" to see if there was one. The only one we found discussed was a St. Rebecca (Rafka) who, when she joined the convent, took the name Anissa (Agnes). So that felt like something from God, but I was still skeptical.

Then I remembered, at the beginning of the year, a lot of my Catholic friends locally went to "Saint of the Year" and I had too. I had a few friends who had done it for many years, and swore by it. So, when I got my saint, who was the patron saint of young girls, chastity and rape victims, I was completely freaking out and worried. Would rape affect our family somehow? I finally just ignored it, decided it was a silly site, and never really prayed to the Saint. Until I began praying about the name Agnes, and remembered that "my" Saint had been Saint Agnes of Rome. When I remembered, I knew this was God telling me that yes, her middle name is suppose to be Agnes. 

So, I feel really giddy and excited about her name. I love saying it, as I feel it's so beautiful now. I just feel like this is what God wants as her name, and that He really has a lot in store for her. I'm also enjoying praying to St. Agnes for her. And the fact that she's the Patron Saint of Chastity helps a momma too ;-) So, she is Rebekah Agnes. :) 

In addition to all this, Abby is Abigayle Claire. Jon was looking up Agnes and discovered St. Claire of Assisi is the older sister of St. Agnes of Assisi! And St Agnes of Assisi's feast day is Nov 16, which was my due date. and finally, St Agnes of Bohemia is known as Agnes of Prague (relates to the Infant of Prague) and in the Order of St. Claire!

Rebekah Agnes' Birth Story

Our fourth child arrived on November 5, 2013. Her name is Rebekah Agnes, and she weighed 11 lbs, 1oz (Smaller than our last baby!) and 20.5 inches and was born at 9:24am.

The details- I went in that morning for a planned c-section. After 3 previous attempts at a vaginal birth, and all ending in a c-section, this one was going to have to be a c-section. It was much different this time, knowing when she'd be born, knowing the c/s was going to happen, etc. I pictured it'd be quick and easy. Go in, have c/s, in an hour or two, we'd be in my room, having skin to skin and nursing and resting. When we arrived, we found out they'd had an unplanned c/s, and we had to wait around until they got the OR cleaned.

38 weeks, 1 day

Finally, a little before 9am, they had me walk to the OR. I was very nervous waiting for the anesthesia, but managed it well enough. It was very odd being awake and aware during the c/s (In my previous 3 csections, I'd been put under, I'd had the anesthesia go to high so was more focused on trying to breath, and was so tired from laboring for 28 hrs that I slept through almost the whole c/s) As soon as I laid down, I threw up some medicine they had given me. They said that was very common.

Thankfully I wasn't paying much attention to what they were doing to me. I was just anxious to hear her cry, to know they had gotten to her. Jon told me it took about 10 minutes to get in usually, but I never knew that. That was the longest 10 minutes of my life haha! Finally, I heard her. It was an overwhelming sound, but she sounded like she was gagging while crying, like she had fluid or something. Jon kept telling me she was fine, but I was skeptical. Eventually, they told me her weight, which we were a bit surprised by, as my doc had guessed she'd only be about 10.5 lbs, not 11lb 1oz. Then they said they were going to have to take her to the NICU. I was NOT expecting that. Come to find out, on her way out, she had swallowed amniotic fluid and needed oxygen. They quickly showed her to me, then took her to NICU. I began to cry and of course, wasn't able to hide it. Jon went with her.

They took me back to L&D to recover. Normally it's about 2 hrs there to recover before going to mom/baby. However, mom/baby was crowded and they were discharging people, so they told me to hang out in L&D for a while. That ended up being a good thing because i was throwing up everything they gave me. They gave me zofran twice, which didn't help. At one point, I went to go see her. I saw her for a short bit, and touched her through the incubator- they wouldn't let us hold her or nurse her because she had been so stressed out from the IVs, as they had to stick her 5 times or more. Very soon after arriving, I told Jon we needed to leave. No sooner did we get out of the NICU and I threw up again. Eventually they gave me a shot that worked instantly. After that, I was finally able to go see Beka and spend some time holding her.

The first time we went in, she was doing better on the oxygen and they felt she'd be able to come off soon. They were waiting until the next day to try to give her any food because they didn't want to stress her body out any more. They were having problems with her IV, getting it to stay. At some point, she had one slightly low blood sugar, so was getting dextrose via IV. (I was shocked because I had amazing control in this pregnancy, and none of my other kids ever had sugar issues.) At 10pm, we were heading to NICU when we were told to wait b/c they were having to do another IV and they were giving her formula so the IV wouldnt be an issue. I started crying, as I wanted to nurse her, no one asked me about formula, and they said they were going to wait until the next day to give it to her.

It was advised that I pump over night, and anything I pumped, I could ask my nurse to take to NICU. So I pumped every 2-3 hrs, and did get some colostrum sent down to her. We went back to visit her at 8am. We spent almost the whole day in the NICU, so it's really all a blur, but at some point, they allowed us to basically do SNS with her, put a tube in to her mouth to get the formula, while she also nursed on me, helping my milk to come in and getting her colostrum. At 7pm, after having to force more formula on her (Which she usually threw up), she was finally able to be discharged. I was frustrated during the day because they kept checking her sugars, said they were great, but were forcing her to continue to take formula to keep them up. Everything i'd heard was that if blood sugars are an issue in a baby, they regulate themselves within 24 hrs, but they wouldn't cut out the formula to see if her sugars were stable without it. My motherly instinct told me she likely was stable.

When she finally got discharged from NICU, they told us she may need to supplement with formula still until my milk came in. Yet, they never checked her blood sugar again after discharging her from NICU. We never supplemented. And she never appeared to need formula. About the 2nd time she tried to nurse after being in my room, we heard her swallowing several times and realized "Wow! My milk must be in already!"

After that, the rest was a blur. I nursed, started to be in more pain, and the next morning, Jon went to pick up the kids from our friends. Right after they arrived and met her, we were discharged to go home. Unlike any other hospital i've been to, they allow you to just walk out without a wheelchair. Oh, BAD idea. I didn't realize how long of a 'short' walk it'd be to the car, and was in a lot of pain by the time i got to the car.

Meeting her for the first time.

Sisters!

Daddy watching a movie with all 4 kiddos.

Recovery this time was much more challenging than in the past. I had a lot more pain, and had to take stronger pain meds than ever before. It also lasted longer, a full week. Now, Rebekah is 3 weeks old, and I'm feeling great. We started back to homeschooling this week from "maternity leave" and we're slowly getting back in to a routine. We've been so blessed by friends who have been so supportive, with watching the other three, providing meals, coming to Beka's baptism, and just wishing us well and praying for us. God is so good and we have been so blessed.

Last week, when she was two weeks old, Rebekah was baptized. We were very blessed because Jon's brother, Fr. Nathan, was able to fly in and do her baptism. It made it even more special for us. We were also very blessed because we picked our very close friends here to be her Godparents, so it was wonderful having her Godparents be present as well. We are slowly settling in to this family of six thing, and enjoying every minute of it.

 Zach got to serve mass with Father at all his masses. He felt so grown up and proud.

We've Moved!

And we are so happy! We have been in the house exactly a month now. I feel like we're mostly settled. We still have several boxes sitting here and there, but they're things that Jon needs to unpack when he gets a chance. Should be able to happen uhh... when he's on paternity leave maybe lol? ;-)

We went back and forth on the bedrooms. Zach wanted to share with the girls, but we really had a small bedroom for him available. However, the girls' room is HUGE. So, we found a compromise, and it's been great. We took all their closets (In Germany, closets don't come with your home. You buy your own. So the military actually issues them to us) We took their closets and divided the room in 2/3rds with them. He gets the smaller area, and the girls get the larger. Jon was really concerned, but it's been GREAT. One room to clean up, one area for all the toys to be contained in, they can be as loud as they want upstairs, oh, it's great. Here's a few pictures.

You can see here the closets dividing the room and Zach's bed in the back.

 The main play area/girls' side

 Girl's bed.

 Then our room. There's orange curtains, which we don't care about. They work. The red rug will likely leave that area eventually.

 Then we used our closets to also divide our room. Behind there is currently boxes we need to get in to still. Eventually the red rug will likely go back there. It also might be used as a nursery area for the baby, but we're not sure yet. The closet on the left came with the house for us to use.

Part of the kitchen. 

 The "School room". It isn't really set up at all. I'm having a hard time getting down to that little table at this point, so we did the first week there, the rest as been at the kitchen table. I'm hoping to pick up a different table this weekend.

 Front door. Kitchen on the right, there's a guest bath with shower on the left next to the coat rack.

 The awesome stairs. There is a fireplace on the other side of the wall, and that archway leads to our "library/den" area.

 View in to the dining room, with the den just past it.

 The library area with the balcony.

 Two of our bookcases with our tv shrunk we bought when we rented the house. LOVE that we can hide (AND LOCK) our entertainment center!!! Best part is the kids ask to watch tv much less when it's closed. ;-)

There's also a great backyard, and the kids have really been enjoying playing out there. In fact, since moving in, Zach has learned to ride without training wheels! Really surprised me since he's never really ridden a bike much before now because it was such a pain to get bikes out when in the apartment. 

We are in our 3rd week of school. It's going really well, and while I hadn't planned on doing school with Abby, she INSISTS on sitting at the table with us, and she's blowing me out of the water with some things. Yesterday she colored a picture and did an amazing job staying in the lines. The other two are doing really well, and I think we're mostly getting in the swing of things. We've begun almost every subject, but I think I'm waiting another week or two to begin spelling. We just began our handwriting workbook today, but were definitely working on handwriting previously. It's really nice to have Zach and Hannah doing a lot of the same grade stuff. 

Jon has taken on teaching the adult religious education class for our church. It meets the same time as the children's. I really did not want to enroll the kids, because they use the same exact curriculum as we're using for religion at home, and I hate making my Sunday's feel so busy instead of relaxed. However, God eventually showed me that by allowing them all to go and JOn to go, I get an hour and half of alone time, which I can use to prepare our school lessons for the coming week. They just started this past Sunday and the kids all loved it. I also enjoyed the time of preparing and focusing w/out being interrupted. Win for all. Only problem is it makes for a VERY, VERY Long day. We get up at 6:30, and get to church at 8am so Jon can warm up for choir. Then their class is over at 12:30. Afterwards this week, we also had to go to the commissary, so we didn't get home until 2. I'm sure we'll get in the hang of things quickly.

I'm now 31 weeks pregnant. I will have a repeat c-section at 39 weeks at the latest. However, I've never made it to 39 weeks, so baby could be here in less than 8 weeks. 8 weeks seems like a while still, but 5-7 weeks, like the other kids were, seems like forever. My blood sugars are really becoming more difficult to manage. I'm doing my best, but I just need LOTS of insulin. So there is also discussion of scheduling me earlier than 39 weeks. It's a fine balance of how long to keep baby in there. I finally ordered the car seat, so hopefully that will be here before baby arrives! ;-) Otherwise, I'm not really ready for it. I need to sort through baby clothes, see what I have, wash it, organize it, etc. I started at one point, like a week ago... ;-) It's just very daunting. 

Well, that's our current life in a nut shell. All in all, we are so much happier in our new house. I think it's evident in all of our attitudes. God is so good and has greatly blessed us here!