Grace and Suffering

I am doing well. I really am.

Physically isn't so bad. Not much pain thankfully.

Emotionally... Well, God has been what I've needed. I don't say this to boast, but to tell the truth. His grace has been sufficient and helped me though. I'm reminded again of the verse I posted the other day.
And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakenss." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  2 Cor. 12:9

You know how we're told to meditate on scripture? It's been a while since I've seen this in my own life. I keep remembering the things He has told me, and they run through my mind, over and over and over again.

His grace is sufficient for me.

If only we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. And the words 'suffer WITH Him' just jumped out at me! I'm not alone in my suffering. In my suffering, I am tied to Him. I can offer my suffering up for others, praying for them. (Oh how I LOVE this idea in our faith!!) 

These children are HIS. 

The Lord gives and takes away. 

God pulled another one on me that made me smile the other day. I have a prayer journal, that I honestly haven't written in in a while. The last entry was 3/31 (Not to say I haven't prayed since then haha!), where I was asking God to help us discern if we should be trying to conceive, and where I wrote something else that struck me on Sunday. I wrote that twice that day, I had read not to ask God why, but to trust Him. I wrote that I didn't know why God was telling me this, but if a time was to come in my future, please help me to trust Him, and not ask why, but also, please protect our family. AMAZING. Even 2 months ago, God was preparing me, and I don't think I have asked why, at least not that I remember. I remember praying a few times "Lord, I don't understand why, but I am trusting you." I don't think I could be in this position without Him, without His grace. And even more, without the prayers of so many others. 

So many of our friends knew we'd been wanting to get pregnant, knew how incredibly excited we were. I mean, we couldn't even wait to tell people because we were so excited! (Plus, we just don't keep secrets well ;-)). So, knowing that, we know our friends have been praying for us, and I can't tell you how much that has helped. I really, truly feel at peace. I know the peace may go away, as we discuss our plans for the future, it may diminish some if we get pregnant again, and I'm sure Christmas will be a struggle in a way this year. But, I know the power of prayer, and God's power, as it has been made SO INCREDIBLY EVIDENT to us lately.

This is off topic a bit, because it's something I've wanted to blog about so much lately, but haven't had the chance. God has blessed us in amazing ways living in Germany. I can't say I love Germany, our house, any of that. But... I can say I LOVE our Catholic community. All of our friends are also all blown away by how God has brought us together as a community. The love, the friendship, the support, the giving, the caring. It truly amazes me, and shows the love of Christ. But best of all, I am amazed at how much I am spiritually growing here, having this support community around me, keeping me accountable and challenging me. 

It's probably sad, but in my 4 years of being a Catholic, I don't think I had yet gone to pray before the Blessed Sacrament (Unless it was available at mass.) This week, a dear friend offered to come and hang with my kids for a little bit so I could, and what... what peace it brought me, to get 30 minutes to just sit there, praying, writing some prayer, and listening to what God needed to tell me, in absolute peace and quiet. (You can guarantee I don't get that ever!) 

I am truly blessed and thankful for what God has given me, and rejoicing in my blessings is helping me through the struggles. I know God is in control, and I trust Him. I don't need to know why to anything, I just need to leave it in His hands, and pray for His guidance in what to do more often. This event in our lives has definitely shown me and taught me some lessons, and I pray I don't forget these lessons in the future.