Thursday, May 5, 2011

Two Separate Prayers

Tonight I realized that I'm at a tough spot in my life. A spot where one thought is consuming me, and I am getting hung up on this thought way too often. And the thought is "When exactly will my husband be home?"

Granted, any normal person would say "That's to be expected. I would be bogged down by that thought too." So, maybe I am normal. But tonight, God reminded me to be anxious for nothing and to cast my cares on Him. It hit me that I haven't been reminded of these truths in a long time. And it's clear that Satan has begun to use that to his advantage.

I feel like it's been a while since I was close to God. My kids have been my focus for the past year, and I haven't really had the strength and energy to focus on God. Even getting to mass has been extremely hard, but I've been going for the most part, feeling that I'm barely hanging on, and that's the string keeping me hanging on.

But tonight a thought crossed my mind. Whenever I start worrying about the date, I'm going to turn it over to God. I'm going to say "Lord, you know this is bothering me, please ease my worries, and give Jon a date soon." Those are two separate prayers. (1) Ease my worries and then, aside from that (2) give us a date soon. But first, I want him to ease my worries. I know that maybe this is a test in patience (WHY? I didnt pray for any!) and that we will know eventually. This is just a huge struggle for my personality. However, I do want him to get the date, and God tells us to ask, so I will. I'm interested to see the results in a month or so. Until then, I'm falling asleep typing. Goodnight.

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