I recently sent an email to my best friend, and realized why I feel so stressed. Since this pretty much all pertains to being an Air Force wife, I thought it'd be appropriate to share here. As I told her, I'm so stressed i could curse til the cows come home and drink til my liver failed, but I know neither would help!
Jon's job has become much busier all of a sudden, because they've given him a second job. This is bringing on longer hours, and him not able to communicate while at work on email. This comes at the same time that his roommate is gone, so while we thought we'd get to talk more and do more video chat, we aren't able to.
He originally thought he'd get to come home any time in July, now it's not so. (He left July 28) Now he could stay even in to Aug maybe. We have absolutely NO CLUE when he will come home. July/August-ish. His sister is getting married in Aug, so hopefully he'll be home by then. This also means that until I get those dates, I can't set up anything for meeting movers in CO and in FL, hotel plans, plans in general for traveling.
Then move on to the fact that there's tons of paperwork i have to get filled out for our military medical clearance. I got a lot of it done, felt good. Then there was a dental form for me and a medical one for my diabetes. The diabetes one I faxed 4/19 and spent all last week back and forth with the office, resulting in me faxing it again this week. The dental one, I went in this week to get done, got my cleaning, but my dentist refused to sign it until I get 2 fillings I need, which wont be until the 26th because that was the earliest available. Then the military person told me that the form I have to get filled out for my diabetes, I also have to get done for all of us since we're going over seas. So, I dropped them off at our primary doc this week, but they refused to even take them, and I had to make an appointment for all of us, and now have to drag all 3 kids to the doc next week right during nap time. I think I have been to the doctor more in the past year just to get forms filled out than I have for a real medical reason!
THe problem is, AFTER I get all these forms, I have to make an appointment, which is only done on Mondays, at a base 2.5 hrs away and take all 3 kids and myself up there. I MAY be able to have this all done by the first Mon in June (My husband was hoping I'd get it all done by the end of Apr/beg of May), but that Monday our son has a followup on his removed tonsils, so we can't even get our medical appt until June 13! Until that is done, husband cannot get his official orders, and until he gets his official orders, we can't get anything else done, set up movers, set up shipping our van, get on the housing waiting list, etc.
Plus throw in little things like the Post office cant seem to deliver mail I've been waiting for and seems to have lost TWO things Jon's sent me...like I went to take Z to swim lessons Monday night only to get there and find out they cancelled them without calling me, or that they had the wrong number typed in and didnt make any other efforts to call me, as they do have my number right in other places...or like the fact that I got chewed out for not flossing this week, that I have gingivitis, and two cavities (my 2nd and 3rd ever)...or like trying to plan the little bit that we do for Rome, trying to communicate with BIL (the future priest) and the travel agency that is not so great at getting back to us in a timely manner, or cashing our check we sent 3 weeks ago. Or that they did email me last night with a rude email, or that our warranty on our van expired 2,000 miles ago and we needed a wheel bearing replaced.
I feel like I've just become an absolute b!tch and any stranger just makes me mad. I have no patience for anyone, nothing nice to say to anyone. I'm grumpy, moody, mad, frustrated, stressed, etc and if anyone passes me, it's soooo evident. And I'm not even PMSing! (actually, fertility returned for one cycle, and nothing since then!) And I'm sometimes unintentionally taking it out on my kids. Yes, I need a 'girls night out' or a mom's day out or a massage or whatever, but I know that wont make it any better. I still have all of this behind me to take care of.
Wow, seeing this all in writing puts it all together and makes me realize why I feel like I do! AHHHHHHHH! No wonder I feel like crying every time something else goes even slightly 'wrong'. (Not looking for anythign, just ranting, venting/whining.)
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4 comments:
Try to focus on one day at a time, Aimee. And remember that, if God is sending trials, there will always be a rainbow at the end.
I'd wager God is making you a stronger mother, a stronger wife and a stronger woman by these difficulties in your life.
"God will not look you over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars."
Be courageous, Aimee. You have a huge family that loves you.
I don't pretend to know what you are feeling, as I can't. I do know that when you look back on this in years to come, you will be able to see how you have grown as a mother, wife, and Godly woman. I pray for you every day and wish things could be easier on you. I love you and Jon, and things will work out, maybe not how you think or in the timely manner you could use, but they will work out. All my love and prayers to you guys!
Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed and just like everything is coming at you and we can't catch a breath, I like to remember the saying. "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." It will all be worth it in the end. try to focus on what is immediately in front of your and not the enormous amount of paperwork and logistics.
THanks RJ and Michael. It's ya'lls love and prayers and support that have helped us get through so far. And Anon, I've def been trying to take it one thing at a time. Thanks all of you.
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