The Sad Time of Year

The grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it? Being in the military has it's ups and downs. We're in our 30s and have never bought a house. But we're traveling Europe! Goods and bads. Right now, it's one of the downs. One of the worst things to happen when in the military is deployment. We all hate it, but all know it has to happen.

The second worst thing in the military? PCS season-summer. PCS means Permanent Change of Station. In other words, people are moving, as often happens in the military. This is very good at times, and very hard as well. People come and people go. Where we are, because it's such a transient community, all our friends are military. When I lived in CO, most of my friends were non-military and are still living in CO. It's very different here. Every summer since getting here, we have had friends move. Last summer, I had my first close friend move back to the states. That was hard, but I still had my other close friends.

This week, one of my two closest friends, my wonderful neighbor, got her house packed up. Movers were in and out of her house all day, and we just sat next door watching. I walked in to her house last night and the empty rooms and cheap military furniture on loan, made it all sink in. She's about to leave. In a few weeks, they will be moving on to a new place, a new house, new school, new friends, new everything. This time is so exciting for them. They are sad of course, but excited about what the future holds.

In a very few short months, our absolutely dearest friends will be leaving. We are so close to this family. My husband is good friends with their husband. The wife and I are best friends. We've even had people confuse us many times or call us twins because we look very similar. And our kids, our kids all love each other. They are definitely our "Germany family". We've watched their kids many times, and they've watched ours more times than we can count. Almost weekly dinners together is common. Park dates or afternoon playdates are usually a weekly thing as well. We both homeschool and have very similar parenting styles. They are the one family where I feel absolutely 100% comfortable. I don't have to guard myself, guard my children. My kids can be kids, and I can be me. I can say what I think without worrying about hurting or offending them or getting in a disagreement and vice versa. I never walk away replaying a conversation and wondering if I said it wrong. They get us and we get them. And yet, like my neighbor, they are about to get their house packed up and move on to bigger and new and exciting things.

I am so happy and excited for both of these families. But, at the same time, I'm so incredibly sad. It's been said before, and now I get it. PCS is harder on those left behind than those who leave. And I'm really feeling it. I know that I need to keep a box of tissues on hand for the next several months, as I'll probably tear up at very unexpected times.

We went to my husband's work picnic today, and before, we use to know so many people and really enjoy it. This time, I didn't know a soul, until the end when the husband mentioned above came out and we talked for a few. My husband said he barely knew anyone there anymore either, as he'd been gone for a long time deployed, and major turnover had happened. It felt very weird. And for a moment, I wondered if this is what the next year would look like. Even at church, I'm looking around and realizing I'm knowing less and less people. I'm not sure if this is because I haven't made many new friends in the last year (I was really in survival mode, not make friends mode this year with my husband gone), or it's just a sign of the major turnover. Which brings a whole new struggle. Do we as a family "date" new families, to grow close to them for one year? Or maybe longer, since we're not sure how much longer we're here? Or do we just stay content where we're at?

I thought that maybe I'd find some spiritual wisdom while typing this, but none came. While I'm sad and I tear up almost every time I think about it, I know this. No matter what the future holds for my dear friends leaving, or what the future holds for us, I am so thankful for these ladies (and their dear families) being in my life and that I am a better person (and decorator lol!) thanks to them. They have fed me, served me, listened to me, hugged me, watched kids for me, prayed for me, encouraged me, walked with me, and most of all, loved me and my family. For this, I'm eternally grateful to call them my dear friends and sad to see them move on.