Respecting Your Elders

"Respect your elders." This is an age-old saying. In the past few weeks, this lesson has really challenged me in a few different situations. I have thought about the fact that I am in my late twenties. When do I get to stop respecting my elders and start defending myself and others around me?

I asked some other women I know, and many of them said that they hate the idea of respect your elders. You should not pay respect just because someone is older and wiser. Instead, you should give respect to everyone. Respect is also earned. It was also determined that there is a difference between standing up for yourself and being disrespectful. The question then lies, what is considered disrespectful? Where is the line drawn?

I asked because of situations I was in. However, the discussion has made me question the thought of respecting your elders and made me consider that maybe it's not a thought I want to teach to my children, but rather I want to teach them to respect all. I want them to feel like they are able to speak up if they feel something is wrong or they are being treated unfairly, but I want to teach them how to do it with respect. It also hammered in to me that I need to be treating my children with respect.

When the topic of "respect your elders" comes up, I'm reminded of a story from my childhood. When I was around 14 years old, I would babysit for my aunt. Almost every time, my grandmother would ask me if my aunt had paid me for babysitting, and would sometimes use it against my aunt. I got tired of being asked, and as respectfully as I possibly could, once told her "Nanny, thank you for your help, but honestly, I don't think it's any of your business." I was in so much trouble. I think that was the one and only time I've truly been on my grandmother's list (a true accomplishment). My mom was upset with me, and I was the talk amongst all the relatives. I was so scared saying it, but so relieved when I never got asked again. I truly felt it was worth it and it was the right thing to do.

Today I have realized that I don't want my children to feel that kind of pressure. If they are in a situation like I was, I either want them to feel okay to speak up, or to feel like they can come to my husband or I and ask for our help. I never felt that way in the situation above. I'm glad that I asked some other women about their thoughts on respecting your elders, because it's made me review this aspect of parenting.

If you are up for praying, please pray for family dynamics and situations surrounding my family at the moment. Also, please continue to pray for the situation I recently posted about. I amazed how I am still freaking out a small amount, but I have some peace and am really just trying to ignore the whole situation and trust God with it all. But prayers are still very welcomed. Thanks!