More than one can handle

I know God promises He will never give you more than you can handle... So, what if you feel like you're at your breaking point and you just can't take one more thing, but really, compared to others, you have it so easy and are so blessed?

That's how I'm currently feeling and am struggling with this. I feel like I'm barely hanging on, and am only because of God and his strength He gives me. Yet, I know I'm so blessed in comparison to others. I'm blessed with fertility (which, believe it or not, can be a cross too), I'm blessed that we have 2 healthy children and are expecting another, I'm blessed that my husband has a job and that because of it, we will be completely debt free in two years. I'm very blessed to be celebrating my 3rd anniversary next week and be so much more in love with my husband than I was 3 yrs ago.

Yet, I dont want to look at that. I want to look at the fact that within the next 6 months, I have things going on 3-4 mornings a week, plus doc appointments for me, plus packing and moving and all the other little stuff in between, like getting our wills done, renting a storage unit, finalizing stuff, all while pregnant and trying to control my diabetes, then moving to FL at 30 weeks pregnant and trying to find a new OB/docs, have my husband leave, having another freakin' c-section, without my husband there, recovering from a csection with a new baby, a 1yr and a 2 yo, and my husband not meeting our new one until Christmas, then him leaving again and not being with him again until summer 2011, and the complete overwhelming feeling I have non-stop now, the feeling of I'm sinking. None of this was a big deal when we started to try to conceive before Jon got orders. I keep telling myself God must have REALLY wanted us to have this child, and that God has really big plans for him or her.

And then I think of those around me. Those who are begging God to get pregnant, those who have children with issues they're trying to figure out, those who's parents are suffering from cancer, those who are having struggles in their marriage,those who's husbands are deployed right now and to places much worse than where mine is going, and I think, "Why am I complaining??"

Well, quite frankly, because God has allowed me to have the most I can handle right now, and I feel like I'm just barely surviving, yet, I feel like I can't discuss it with many, because they are having a much more difficult time than we are. So, alas, I am just telling the www instead. When you feel weak, it's those times that God makes you stronger huh? I'm just praying He doesn't allow any more tough things to come our way, because I'm just barely hanging on. And i'm praying for a good, healthy sounding heartbeat on Friday when I go to my first doc appointment, because after having a miscarriage a few months ago and learning another friend just had a 9 week miscarriage, I'm terrified.