I have heard it said that the more you fall in love with God, the more you fall in love with your spouse. Recently, I have really found this to be the truth. I have grown so much in Christ over the past year, from being in this incredible, thriving, Catholic community, from going to Rome, and most recently, with the miscarriage. God has greatly used this suffering to draw me closer to Him, and in doing so, I'm finding my love for my husband has greatly increased. This is amazing, and what you need in the midst of suffering.
I have just finished I Will Carry You. It was amazing. Again, I suggest it, really for anyone. It's a quick read. Not necessarily easy emotionally, but quick. And it gives you great perspective for if/when you know someone going through the same.
Following our miscarriage, and this book, I have realized there are some things I would do differently next time. This past pregnancy, I was very quick to start planning for Dec. I was thinking about "What car seat do I need to get since we need a new one...When should I take Abby out of the crib?... Do we need a new one since this one is technically recalled?" I was spending all my time in the future, not thinking and enjoying the present. I'm notoriously guilty of this.
Next time, if we are so blessed, I plan on enjoying the moments as they come. I plan on praying a LOT more for our child. I admit that while I have good intentions, I don't pray for any of our children as much as I would like to/need to. I will pray for the baby much more often. I will not assume I have forever with the child. I will talk to the child a lot in the womb. I remember doing that a lot with our first, but not much with the girls, because I was usually talking to their brother at that time. Next time, I will talk to the baby and have my children talk to the baby a lot.
Yesterday, I realized that right now would be the time we'd be finding out the sex of the baby. That brought a wave of emotions, both good and hard ones. Good because I'm glad God has helped me get through all of this, and He has been my strength and comfort.
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1 comments:
That's a GREAT idea. Unfortunately, I'm horrible about folding laundry. :( I wait until it's about 8 loads, and then fold, usually while watching tv or listening to a Lighthouse CD. But I like the thought of praying for them during it just the same. I may try to, because at least I'd be praying for them more! Thanks for the thought, and thanks for the sweet compliment.
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