This Year's Homeschooling Journey

This year, I have really struggled with homeschooling. I haven't found the passion I use to have. I've felt overwhelmed, tired, burnt out. It has been all school year that I have felt like this. Many people I know have put their kids in school this year. That has been hard for me as well. Yet, I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we were not suppose to be doing that. I knew God had called us to homeschool, and He wasn't calling us away, just because He was calling others away. My husband so kindly reminded me that many people don't always like their jobs (in an office, etc), and I tried to find some solace in that.

I tried (That's the operative word here) to give up complaining for Lent. Ok, let's be honest. I tried to complain less for Lent. In doing so, I've really tried hard not to complain about homeschooling, or the 2yo that creates complete mayhem throughout our school day. And you know what has happened? My heart is shifting again.

I'm realizing the reasons I do love homeschooling. Like hearing H read to the toddler today. Or coming down stairs at 7:45 to find the older two are almost completely done with their individual work, and we can actually attend Mass at lunch time on a Tuesday. Or listening to them take in where Lebanon, Syria and Palestine are on a map, because that's where the Canaanites came from. Or jumping for joy because one finished Dr. Doolittle and another read Sarah Plain and Tall in one day. Or when I walk in to the living room like I did last week, and find everyone together, as they tell me "We're doing our school work". Like a picnic.

God has shown me this Lent why He has called me here, and I am where I belong. 

I think some other things have helped as well. I found out I had severely low Vitamin D, and got that taken care of. Hello Germany and the land of no sun! 

I also took on a position for an organization that I am very fond of. This organization has me working many hours doing what I love-administration work. It feels like a 'job' that I am able to do from home, while homeschooling, and it gives me that purpose that I felt I was missing. It's funny, because when approached about the job, I was very unsure, but I had a peace, I felt God was saying "If I've called you, I will make a way." And He has, and it has been one of the biggest blessings in my life this past year. 

You know the verse in Ruth 1:16 "But Ruth said, 'Do not press me to leave you and to stop going with you, for wherever you go, I shall go, wherever you live, I shall live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God." She was talking to Naomi, who had a different God than her, but she was a dedicated friend to Naomi. I was reading "You Can Understand the Bible" last night and it said "Like Mary, Ruth was a kind of co-redeemer... Ruth's bond...expresses the same state of soul, the same essential core of the spiritual life, the same secret of sanctity, as Mary's fiat "Be it done unto me according to thy word." Both of these should be my prayer. Whatever God wants of me, let it be done. Even if that means homeschooling. I am so thankful and glad that He has helped me find the joy in homeschooling again, and that I am noticing more of the little reasons that I know this is where I'm suppose to be. It's still a struggle at times, but I"m definitely in a better place.  

Called to Serve

I mentioned in my last post that a common theme on my heart lately has been the things of this world and the spiritual things that truly matter. There has also been something else that I'm really working on: Being a servant. In my home. I have known for a while that my spiritual gift was serving, but had never paid attention to using that gift at home until recently.

Two weeks ago, I went on a women's retreat, where the theme was "Divine Mercy". I learned a lot from this retreat (more at another time) but one of the stories that stuck with me was this. I believe it was St. Faustina, but I could be wrong. (Told to the best of my memory)

One night, she had gotten in to her pajamas and gotten in her bed, when her roommate said "Sister, would you get me a drink?" She got back up, got dressed again, and put her boots on. There was no kitchen in their house (convent) so she trucked across the muddy grounds to the kitchen and got the sister a drink. But then she realized that she had tracked mud in to the kitchen, so she had to clean it up as well. Then she got back to the bedroom with the drink, and there was Jesus. He told her "Whatever you do to the least of these, you do for me."

This struck me so hard. All I could think of was my husband. Many times we get in bed and he asks me "Will you turn off the lights?... will you go cover the kids up?.. Will you go check to see why the child is crying?" And so often, I say these same things, and many times, he does them for me, and I don't do them for him. After the retreat, my goal was to be more of a servant to my spouse.

However, this weekend, we were so incredibly blessed to go on a marriage retreat. In doing so, we talked about our children and how they apply to our marriage a lot. I realized there are many things I don't do for our kids, because well, I don't want to. I don't like it. I'm lazy. It's boring. It's gross. I hate doing it, etc. etc. But that's NOT what God has called me to do. If my children are not the "Least of these" then who are? Oh man, I have so much work to do! My new prayer is "Lord, please remind me to be a servant to others, so in doing so I will serve you."

And amazingly enough, as I was working on this, this video came across my feed. Sums it up perfectly.

Material versus Spiritual

I feel strongly that sometimes, God puts a theme or topic on your heart, or in your mind. Something for you to chew on, soak up, and think about a lot, and often for you to work on. The common theme on my mind and heart lately has been the material and earthly things of this world versus the spiritual things. What do I mean?

On Sunday mornings, sitting at church, receiving Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, my mind is on Him. I want nothing more than to walk out of that building remembering that He is in me, and that everything I do should bring glory to Him. That anything else doesn't matter. 

Then Monday rolls around. My kids are a hot mess of not wanting to do school. So I'm trying to find a new way to make the science lesson come alive, and therefore skipping religion. I need a new jacket so being the thrifty person I am, I check all these sites for the best deal. My friends are posting all of these great links on Facebook that I just have to read. Especially because many of them are spiritual things, I'm sure they'll help me improve my spiritual walk. But the truth is, these are all distractions. The posts I read, I'll usually forget within minutes of reading them. The jacket, I don't really need. And when is science more important than teaching my children the faith? These are all things that are taking me away from Our Lord. I am so busy with all of these things, I can't take the time to spend 10 minutes to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet or read the readings for the day. 

I've pulled up about 7 tabs of things I want to read from Facebook, and interestingly enough, one was about yesterday's readings. The first one really struck home with me:

Romans 14:7-12 Brothers and sisters: None of us lives for oneself, and no one dies for oneself.For if we live, we live for the Lord,and if we die, we die for the Lord;so then, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.For this is why Christ died and came to life,that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living.Why then do you judge your brother or sister?Or you, why do you look down on your brother or sister?For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God;for it is written:As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bend before me, and every tongue shall give praise to God.So then each of us shall give an account of himself to God.

I found it interesting that today's reading was talking about He is Lord and every tongue shall praise Him. That our soul purpose is to live for the Lord. I realized, it's not just my tongue that should praise Him, it's my actions, how I use my time. How I respond to things. 

We have some changes in the coming year. It's hard to not worry about these changes. What will happen, how will it work out, where will we end up? But, none of that matters if I'm focused on the here and now. The here and now, spiritual side of things says to pray about it and tell Our Lord "Jesus, I trust in you!" 

When I'm talking about the material and earthly side of things, it is in so many areas. Being focused on clothes, how I look, what I say, where I go, what I do, what I think of myself, the people I spend time with, etc. It's so easy to be pulled in to these things that take so much focus in our world. It's like the pinterest ladies who always have these great crafts or foods made. I look at them and want to think "Oh, that's awesome! I should do that!" and then I get so lost in the trying to do all these things, that I've lost my spiritual focus. Or I want to have everything put together, like some of these homeschool bloggers do, and that doesn't matter. What matters is that my kids are learning. Whether it's in books, or through experiences, etc. (Side note, I'm personally REALLY struggling with homeschooling right now!) 

I think back to so many of the Saints. Some were very poor, and yet, they found all their joy in the Lord, and suffered so many things to be united to His suffering. They never cared about Facebook or their clothes, the politics of this or that, the things that did not matter. They were not focused on the material, earthly possessions, but on the Lord. 

Another great example is all of these wonderful blog posts I'd love to read, because I'm sure they'll have great information or encouragement.... But what's really the point? Is it going to help me grow in my spiritual life? Will I remember it 10 minutes from now? Or is it just my way to connect with someone?  oh the irony that I'm writing a similar blog post. Truth is, it's so I can look back on this and be reminded of it more.

The reason I feel the Lord has brought this phrase to my heart lately is because I have been missing out on the real spiritual. The sitting down with my children and reading a good book together, studying a Saint together. Spending time in prayer and in my Bible, or reading a book that will help me grow. I have really made some changes in my life lately because I was doing so much "for the Lord" that I was neglecting my first priority and gift from Him, my family. I was stuck in the earthly doing that I was neglecting the spiritual loving I should be doing. I'm so busy with the planning, I'm not enjoying, like the photographer behind the camera, so busy clicking the photo he isn't enjoying the moment he's in. 

All in all, what I'm trying to say is that it's a real and difficult struggle. I have the desire to focus on the Lord and seek the spiritual things, and to not get drawn in to these things, but then I am so quickly drawn to them and forget about the Lord. It's like a diet. You know you shouldn't have that chocolate, but then, in a moment of weakness, when you aren't thinking about not eating it, you eat it. Not that they are evil or a sin, but they are distracting from God. As my husband so kindly pointed out "The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." Prayers is so important in overcoming the material temptations of this world. 

This is not to say the things of this world are not important, but that it's important to keep the Lord the priority. 

Anxiety and schedules

I read this verse and 3 short paragraphs over my coffee yesterday morning. I laughed thinking "Yeah Lord, I know, I often get anxious about things, but I think I'm pretty cool right now thankfully! Please keep it that way. :)"

My day progressed much like many others- minus the dentist appointment- and by the end, I sat down to my desk to do some work. It's the end of July, and that means school should be starting back soon. But I am not in the slightest bit ready. I've been freaking out and avoiding it. I finally cleaned the school room, organized my desk and bookshelves, and ordered a planner. Well, two planners. Because when I'm overwhelmed, I apparently avoid and do everything but the task I need to do. So last night, I sat down and started mapping out our schedule for the year.

Last year, I did not do this. We were very free-flowing last year. Meaning every day was "Do 2 pages of math, 2 pages of English- sure, you can do extra if you want.- etc" It worked, but adding another kid to our school routine, and life being a lot different now, including my husband being here, I know I need a plan for the year. I sat down.

Math for #1 planned for the year. Check. Math for #2 for the year. Check. I'll come back to #3 when I find her math book. English for #1 and #2. Check. Religion for #1 and 2. Check. Ok, now what? History? Well, I have a lot to do to prepare for that, i'll come back. I then looked around to find the other school books I ordered. Nothing. OH MY! It's the end of July and I haven't ordered all our school books!!! Problem is, I started looking about 2 months ago, and got overwhelmed trying to figure out what to use, that I walked away, with plans to come back. I just didn't expect those plans to be at the end of July!

I felt so upset with myself, so mad. And so worried about planning the coming year, more so than I had before. I went to bed, my husband telling me it'd work out. "Yeah, easy for you to say. This is the point where I want to get mad at you, because you insisted we homeschool." Yeah, that's an honest thought that crosses my mind about once a year, when I know in reality I wanted to just as much as he did. He just said it way before I was ready, so I want to play the blame game. I mostly avoided last night- I told him I wanted to say it, but I know it's not true. ;-)

As I climbed in to bed, I heard a small voice. "Anxiety weighs down the human heart..." OH MY! Hello God! I haven't heard you that clearly in a long time, and I am totally hearing you more lately. Thank you! Ok, you're right. Lord, this area of my life worries me. I offer it to you. Your will be done. and asleep I fell.

I woke up today, knowing I needed to work on lesson planning more, while I was still in the mood, and order books! I wanted to find a chart I had printed last year, and will be using this year. I went searching. In the mean time, I found some wonderful blog posts that I needed to read. One on Decision Fatigue and one on how to not suffer from that fatigue. Low and behold, the second one mentioned having some kind of schedule.

This is where God is funny right now. He's telling me to get a schedule in our life. I hate the idea. Here's how he's told me. I randomly picked up A Mother's Rule of Life. I haven't finished it, but it's given me some serious thought. She, like me, was very opposed to a schedule, but she realized she needed one. She makes good points that God has called me to this vocation, and I should not be wasting that and should be doing it to the best of my abilities, in all areas- holiness, motherhood, wife, homemaker, teacher, etc. Then I was reading the daily missal, and there was a devotional on scheduling. Then I was reading my personal morning devotional, again, on scheduling. Then a friend mentioned something about a schedule, and today, I read the two posts above.

I remember learning from my Sunday School teacher in high school that if God tells you something once or twice, you should listen, but if it's THREE times, He's knocking you on the head to get you to list. I KNOW God's calling me to create a schedule for our family. Not strict and by the books, but more along the lines of "school starts at 9am" or "After breakfast, everyone cleans up, brushes teeth and hair, makes beds." etc,

My problem, and why I still haven't, is I feel overwhelmed at the thought and not sure where to start. Oh? Did I already talk about that in this post? "Anxiety weighs down the human heart, but a good word cheers it up." Lord, this area of my life worries me. I offer it to you. Your will be done. Let me add this time Please show me how to create a schedule for our lives that will work well within our family, provide peace and harmony, and bring us closer to You. Amen. 

If you don't mind, pray for me, as I try to make this work. And that I can find the time to create it.

God's promises regarding change

I think we all have those times in life where we realize things have got to change. We have somehow become complacent, stuck in the mundane, giving in to society, sin, slothfulness, something else, or all the above. I have reached that point. Several things in my life need improvement, and I have just about hit rock bottom truthfully. I know I need to change several things in my life, and I've been so overwhelmed at the thought that I've avoided it.

A little over a month ago, I was waking up every morning at 5:45 and going walking. It made a huge difference in my day and I actually found myself loving it surprisingly. I never thought I'd say such crazy things about that time of morning. I would then come home, and spend the morning on my computer waiting for the kids to get up, reading Facebook, blogs, etc. I had gotten out of this newly formed habit when we had company for two weeks. My husband was off work, so the need to go before he left at 7am was no longer there to push me.

Today, I started back. Instead of taking my ipod, I went alone. I prayed. Well, sort of. I prayed, then let my thoughts wander, then came back to praying, then more thoughts, etc. But hey, I was still praying, uninterrupted by littles. Then I came home, and fixed my coffee and kissed my husband good by. I sat down to have a devotional, and my dear one year old came in to join me. So we went and made breakfast. I never bake for breakfast, but this morning, I felt energetic, and made a delicious baked oatmeal with a new recipe. Then we went and sat on the couch. Her with her milk, a banana and a book, and me with my devotional. God really knows what to say when He talks to you through devotionals.

The first one, I accidentally turned to Thursday's devotional, but needed it so much.

"For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say 

to you, "Do not fear, I will help you." Isaiah 41:13 

"Life presents us with new obstacles and challenges all the time. 

Through it all, can I remember what it means to trust in God?" 

I just needed that reminder that through the challenges, through the changes I'm trying to make, God is holding my hand and will help me. There are fears that come along with these changes, so this was the perfect scripture. 

The second, longer devotional I did referenced Jer. 29:10-14. I think many of us can quote Jer. 29:11. But this book used The Message translation, and it really hit home.

This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years 

are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised

 and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned 

out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the

 future you hope for.

“When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.

“When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.

“Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything 

else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.”

When you read more than just Jer. 29:11, you see that God is telling them that they have a long road ahead of them. Things aren't going to happen over night, but that it will take 70 years! That's a long time to wait for God to come through. But He promises them that when that 70 years is up, He will show up and take care of them and take them back home. He knows what He's doing. 

The changes I'm trying to make in my life won't be easy, or happen overnight, but when I call on God, He will listen and I will find him. I love the last part. “Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” Please Lord, help me, as I'm serious. 

Do you have any big changes you need to make in your life? I hope this is encouraging to you, as it was to me. 

Turin and Cinque Terre, Italy

We just got back from a 5 day driving trip to Italy. Our trip started off Monday morning leaving at 9am. We arrived in Antagnod, Italy at about 7pm. We stayed here. This was about an hour from Turin, where we would head on Tuesday. All of the apartments in Turin were super expensive, so I decided to stay an hour away, and found this great place for €80 for the night. I thought it was a place Jon would love. Well, in hindsight, considering the price of gas and the amount of time it took to get way up the huge mountain, and the throwing up by the youngest getting car sick, it wasn't necessarily worth saving the money on the apartment lol. However, it was absolutely beautiful and Jon did love the place we stayed. Our only complaint was we had to wait for the woman that spoke English to come check us out, and it took over 20 minutes waiting for her. However, watching the moon rise from behind the mountain after the kids went to bed was amazing.

Tuesday morning, our plan was to leave at 8am. Because of kids, we went to check out at 8:15 and didn't get to check out until after 8:35. We headed back down the mountain, this time having two girls get car sick from the crazy roads. Then we headed to Turin, Italy. We learned earlier in the year that the Shroud of Turin was going to be on display. If you don't know what this is, it is the cloth they believe Jesus was wrapped in when he was buried in the tomb. I'm not positive if it is or not, but either way, going to it made me consider what Jesus did, and imagine the Crucifixion in a way I had not previously done. The Shroud rarely gets put on display, but Pope Francis asked that it be displayed this year, and well, if the Pope asks... So we got to go see it! 

Our appointment was for 1:30 pm. We arrived and walked first to the Basilica of St. Don Bosco (Basilica of Our Lady Help of Christians). When we walked in, Mass was taking place. It was during the Gospel reading, so we decided to stay for the Mass instead of looking around during Mass. At the end, we headed in to the Reliquary. I have never seen so many relics in all my life. According to wikipedia there are 6,000 relics! A relic is something that belonged to a Saint. They also had several of St. John Bosco's relics- His prayer book, his rosary, scapular, etc. We also got to see a wax statue that after later research I believe held his incorrupt remains. 

The sideways relics of St. John Bosco because I can't figure out flipping pictures again...

The wax body

Then we headed for the Basilica where the Shroud was on display. We arrived a bit early, and there was a food area, so we went to use the bathrooms and grab a bite to eat. After waiting in line with the kids for 20 min for the bathroom, we got in to discover they were the lovely hole-in-the-ground toilet, and we all decided we didnt have to go that bad. I just can't. Jon was grabbing food for us, which was this fried pastry ball thing with rice, cheese and ham in it. It was weird at first, but by the end, we all really liked it.

We headed in to the Shroud exhibit. A friend had recommended taking our stroller, as there was a stroller/wheelchair lane. If you know me, I NEVER travel with a stroller in Europe. In fact, I was frustrated walking through Turin with it. I just throw the toddler in a baby carrier. But this time, I listened to my friend and was SO THANKFUL! Right after we got in line, a man came up and asked if it was just the 6 of us. He pulled us and sent us down the side and we passed hundreds of people that were in groups of about 50, and just passed and passed and passed them. It was amazing, especially having 4 little ones with us. We were so grateful for the stroller line and to be alone! 

After all the lines, we went in to a room where a video was shown to us. It was very well done, with an image of the shroud and they would show one part of it, and explain what it was in 6 different languages ("the head", "blood from the crown of thorns", etc). When we got inside the church itself to see the Shroud, they also let us go to the very front because of the little kids, so they could see. We had about 2 minutes in front of the Shroud, where they said a prayer before the Shroud in Italian, and we had the chance to look at it and think about what Jesus had done for us. It was not this huge, glorious, hear-the-angels-sing moment, but it was still very surreal and I'm glad we went. I hope the older three remember it for ages to come.

After this, we headed back to the car and began our three hour drive to Levanto, Italy. The toddler had fallen asleep, so we refused to stop extra and were able to make it with just one quick stop. We parked our car at the beach, walked to where we were suppose to pick up the key, then he walked us through the small village to the apartment. It was an amazing apartment and very large for what I was expecting! I loved that it had a washing machine, to wash the clothes that had gotten thrown up on, and to wash beach clothes! The shower didn't drain very well, probably due to the beach sand and rocks, but that was the only thing even slightly wrong with it. I promised the kids that after grabbing a bite to eat, we'd walk down and check out the beach, but not swim. What was I thinking??

"You can step in it but dont get all wet"

What was I thinking lol??

We headed to bed, and got up early the next morning. We were here to see the 5 villages of Cinque Terre. As tripadvisor says, this area is named for the 5 towns of Monterosso, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola and Riomaggiore on the Mediterranean Sea, and is a UNESCO World Heritage Site (We keep adding these to our list of things we've seen!) We went and paid for our apartment and bought our train tickets while there. We headed out for Riomaggiore, the village the furthest away, with plans to hit all but Monterosso on the first day. The villages are all very small, and about a 2-5 minute ride between each. We got to Riomaggiore, walked up above the train station and took in the amazing views. We were going to walk the trail around to the next village, a 30 min walk along a trail on the mountain above the sea, but it was closed because of a rock slide. This proved to be a huge problem later in the day. Then we took an elevator to the top of the village, saw the village church, and walked back down through the village. Jon and I got some fried calimari to snack on and the kids begged for a nutella crepe. Instead, I got them a nutella formaggi (sort of like a pizza crust I guess) They loved it. Score for making them try 2 new foods on vacation! 

On the train to Riomaggiore

Looking down at the marina while near the top of the village of Riomaggiore

The village of Riomaggiore

Then we got on the train to head to the next village, Manarola. Unfortunately, the train passed it and didn't stop! We ended up in Monterosso. Frustrated, we looked to see when the next train going back was. We had to buy new tickets to head back. Waited for about 30-45 minutes, and got on a train to head back. And for some reason, again, it passed the village and we were back in Riomaggiore again!!! I was so mad and frustrated, and so were so many other people on the train. This time, instead of trusting the train schedule, we went and asked the Ticket Information counter. Next train in 45 min. So we had time to kill again. I went and bought my husband some lemoncello (liquor popular in the area) as a peace offering. He laughed. And we finally made it to Manarola after spending way too many hours on the trains. 

This was the town I absolutely did not want to miss. I had seen pictures, and they were beautiful, but I knew seeing it would be even more beautiful, and it was. We walked down the steep hill from the train station to the water. I bought everyone gellato to make up for all the train rides, and we decided to take the trail along the coast to the next village while eating gellato. We saw several people walking back and realized that that trail must really be open. As we walk around away from the village, there is a beautiful cove where people are diving off the rocks and swimming. I wanted to swim there so desperately, but we didn't bring our suits that day. Unfortunately, as we walked part of the way, the trail was indeed closed, but we were able to see the next village from the trail. We then found a small park, and took a 30 minute rest to let the kids play and have some kid time. By this time, we were all done, and ended up skipping Vernazza and Corniglia, There is no way I could convince anyone else, and I realized it's just part of traveling. :)

Manarola

Eating Gelato. Just behind my husband's head, you can see the trail that we started to take to walk to the
next village. Above his head is the playground where we let the kids play for a while.

Such a cool and beautiful village!

The gorgeous cove where people were swimming.

We headed back to the apartment, ate dinner, and went to the beach to swim for an hour or two. That helped make up for the day. Our apartment was across the street and down the sidewalk to the beach. The first night we went, we took back so much sand and rocks. The second night, I suggested going up to the restarant and bar areas, and seeing if there was a shower. I was so glad we did! Going home was much better after everyone rinsed off haha.

After the 2nd night at the beach, I changed my Thursday plans. We were going to go to Monterosso and spend the day on the beach there. However, I realized the beach by our apartment was just as great, without having to take the train back all dirty. So we took the ferry in to Monterosso and spent the morning there. 

It was Corpus Christi, the Feast of the Holy Eucharist and a Holy Day of Obligation in Italy (celebrated on Thursday in Italy and Sunday in US parishes), so we had found out in advance that there was a Mass at 11am. We arrived in plenty of time to the village. Unfortunately, we didn't look to see where the Church was on a map. We figured the village was suppose to be pretty small that it'd be easy to find a church. We found one, which wasn't the one we planned to go to, but the sign on the door said Mass at 11. Unfortunately, by 11:10, there still was not Mass. We guessed that there was only daily Mass at one of the Catholic Churches, and we were at the wrong one. So we found another playground, and let the kids play while we grabbed some Italian croissants to snack on. Then we headed to the beach part of Monterosso, and ate lunch at the train station. Funny, I would normally never eat at a train station, but this wasn't what I expected at all. It was on the second floor, open and breezy, right near the water, and the best fried cod and calamari I've had since living in Europe. We were very happy with the meal we ate out. We took the train back, changed in to our beach gear, and spent the afternoon hanging out on the beach.

Beaches of Monterosso

train station lunch

Train station lunch with my Sangria and a sleeping baby and Jon's latte.

On Friday morning, we got up and made the 12 hour drive home. It's an 8 hour drive per google, but when you add in an hour stau and kids, potty breaks, food breaks, etc. it adds up. As do the tolls, gas, etc. For anyone curious to make a similar trip, between the €40 vignette in Switzerland, the €50 tunnel toll*, and the Italian/Swiss gas prices, we spent approximately €280 on those things. If we were going to just Cinque Terre, we could have flown Ryan Air to Pisa for less. But since we were going to see the Shroud, driving worked for our large family. 

Overall, we had an absolutely wonderful time. I think I did a decent job of planning something for each of us to make us all happy on this vacation, which is somewhat difficult at times for 6 people. 

*This was round trip tunnel fee on the way to Turin. I think it was €30 something for one way. Unfortunately, we didn't use it round trip, and came back through Lake Como since we came from Levanto instead of Turin and there was no tunnel. 

**I put links, prices, complaints, etc because I often share these posts with other people in the area.

Rome- final days

On day 5 of our Rome trip, Father was unable to hang out with us due to school, so we decided to head to the Villa Borghese, a beautiful, huge Garden in Rome. Small pond with paddle boats, ducks and turtles, and the toddler's favorite- pigeons.  We mosied around this park, then went to the zoo in the park. This was a very expensive zoo, and not really worth it in my opinion, but we went ahead and did it anyway, as my kids hadn't been to a zoo in 3+ years. They enjoyed it, and that's what counts. Sorry for the crooked images! I edited them all, and saved them, but they loaded sideways grrr...

A daddy and his girls

We then met Father Nathan at St. Mary Major, in hopes to be able for him to say Mass here. He was able to get an alter, but we had about a 45 minute wait. Around the corner was a pillar that it is believed that Jesus was tied to when they whipped him. It was a hidden piece, and it was overwhelming seeing it and just picturing our Lord tied to it while being beaten.

We then had Mass in a beautiful side chapel within the major Basilica. It was covered in gold, and so much different than our previous Mass with Father in the Catacombs!

Family on the subway

 We then headed back to the apartment, and made dinner. After we put the kids to bed, a friend Jon knew in high school came over. They had gone to the seminary together, and he was now living in Rome working on his studies to become a priest. It was great getting to know him a little bit, and found it funny that we were all in the same snow storm in Prague 2 years ago. :)

The next morning, we headed out for Ancient Rome. First we did Paletine Hill, as Jon and I did not get to see this the last time we were in Rome. We all loved it. I think I liked it better than the Colluseum. THen we headed over to the Colluseum as well. We also went to St. Mary Nova, a Church right outside of the Roman Forum, which provided yet again, a nice place for cool air and shade.

After the ancient Rome area, we headed to St. Paul outside the Wall to meet Fr. Nathan for Mass. When we showed up, the offices were closed (as many places are in the afternoon in Rome), so we went and grabbed some lunch while waiting for the office to open. At one point, I took the girls to the bathroom. A nun was in there and asked us if we were from the US. As we talked more, we found out that we were from the same town and she graduated from the local Catholic high school (BK)! I thought it was crazy and promised to pray for Sister Agnes.

Unfortunately, we were unable to say Mass at St. Paul's, so we headed back in to the city, and decided to try at St. Giovanni. Unfortunately, we got there at like 5:05, so instead joined in on a Mass that was already going on. It was in French with what looked like a high school pilgrimage group. We all got a quick out of the fact that none of the teens were really singing the Alleluia, but our toddler was, at the top of her lungs and louder than anyone else.

We headed back to the apartment, started packing up, and left for the airport early the next morning. THankfully we had learned how to get to the airport a much shorter route on the first day, and arrived in time to make our flight. We probably would have felt more comfortable if we had had a bit more time, as the line was huge when we got there, but we made it home safely.

Ugh! I wish I knew how to rotate these. Please let me know if you know how! Family selfie upside down!

MCCW Retreat

I'm taking a break from my Rome posts, because I just returned from a fabulous 4 day retreat in beautiful Ettal, Germany in the mountains in Bavaria. What I learned and experienced this weekend must be posted first, before I forget it all.

Let me start off by being really honest. Between my husband's 6 month deployment, him returning in Feb., schooling, my daughter's play and many other commitments, my spiritual life was very dry. I sort of felt like Mother Teresa, when she says God was there, but she couldn't feel Him. I was giving and giving to everyone else, but not having any time for myself, especially for myself spending time with God. I'd sometimes get a prayer in in the shower, and I did hear the Lord speaking to me at times, but I felt very, very dry. And truth is, maybe a bit depressed. Germany winters can easily do that to you. The week I left for this retreat was BAD. One of the worst weeks I'd experienced in parenting, and i knew it was time for me to get away and refocus on God, and boy did that happen.

The other side of this honesty is that it was advertised as a Marian retreat, even having Marian Consecration mentioned. Coming from a Protestant background, my road to Mary has been a journey- a long one- and was not looking forward to hearing about Mary all weekend. I decided it was a good thing I was super excited about getting away and spending some great time with my girlfriends.

At the retreat, there were several seminars, several that were Mary related. As a Catholic, and after many years of prayer, I do believe that we can ask Mary to pray for us. We don't pray to her, we ask her to pray for us. Now, trust me, I get it when people say "Why ask Mary when you can pray directly to Jesus." Well, yes, this is true. But when I ask Mary, she can constantly ask her Son to help in my situation. I am not able to pray all the time, as I have to teach my children, or read, or correct, or talk to my husband, etc etc. So instead, while i"m doing these things, Mary is in heaven asking for my requests. And of course, Jesus has a very special relationship with His Mother, which is even more helpful. The idea is really no different than asking my friend to pray for me. So I get that, and I believe it, and every now and then will ask her to intercede for my prayer requests. But I don't have a devotion or anything like that to her, like many Catholics.

However, I also realize there have been MANY, MANY Marian miracles in the World. It amazes me. There is Our Lady of Lourdes, Our Lady of Guadelope, Our Lady of Fatima, to name a few famous ones. In recent years, I've become familiar with Our Lady of Good Council (Patroness of MCCW), Our Lady of Good Success and Our Lady of Knots (Learned about both this weekend), Our Lady of Kiebeho (The apparition that really began to change my heart regarding Mary), Our Lady of Svata Hora (Where we visited in Prague), Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal (visited in Paris).

In almost all of these, she tells people to turn from their sin, turn to her and her son, and she predicts MANY things that later came true. For example, Our Lady of Kiebeho predicted the Rwandan genocide and said that if people did not turn from their sin and change the way they were living, a genocide would happen. So, after learning more and more about these many apparitions, my heart also began to change and i realized Our Lady knows what she's talking about, she's real, she's calling to God's people. And it amazes me NOW that so many do not believe she has an important role even today.

On this retreat, there were several talks about Mary. She once said "I am Queen of Heaven under many invocations." One Sister that spoke said there are so many invocations of Our Lady, pick one, and have a devotion to just one, such as Our Lady of Knots- because your life is in such knots- or Our Lady of Perpetual Help- because you always need help! I'm not sure yet where that will lead me, but I"m praying about it.

One of the talks was about our Jewish roots. The Jewish morning prayer for women is "I thank you that I am what your will wants me to be." I thought this was beautiful, and a prayer I could work on adopting! We learned that the Jewish wife was a queen in her own home, a "Homemaker" and this title meant "the most important role of the house". Her jobs included keeping her family Jewish, responsible for keeping the house Kosher and preparing feasts, and on the Sabbath, she was the only person allowed to light the candles! If there was no woman, there was no candles lit! It was the most important ritual for Jewish women. They did work, such as Lydia, but the first job was to make sure her children knew the laws and kept them and to keep peace with her husband. A home with clear structures and respect is good for a strong society and this is HOLY work. All of this was encouraging to me, knowing my role in life and where God has called me- a stay at home, homeschooling mom. I LOVED the part that her job was to teach her family the Jewish faith, as I consider that one of my most important roles as a mother.

The other favorite talk was one by Matthew Arnold (the man from Lighthouse CDs that gives the introduction to each one!) about Spiritual Gifts. Now, growing up as a Protestant, I heard many spiritual gift talks and thought they were great, but this was by far, the greatest. If I ever learned this earlier in life, i had forgotten. In Romans 12, all of the spiritual gifts are listed, then immediately following, in the same order, it describes each one. So prophesy is described in vs 9, servant in vs 10, teacher in vs 11, encourager in 12, giver in vs 13, ruler in 14 and mercy shower in vs 15. I appreciated the reminder of what my spiritual strengths are, especially given where God has placed me. I am servant and leader together I believe. I am often jumping forward to help friends and others in need, but very willing to lead, as I will be this coming year.

Interestingly enough, this retreat also contained a lot of discernment for people. I went on this retreat feeling a SMALL tug in one direction, and that tug got stronger and stronger on this retreat. I came home thinking my husband would fight it or something, and his reply was basically, "ok, great. If God's calling you somewhere, He's calling you. If there's one thing i know, if Aimee gets an idea in her head, there's not much to stop her. God will provide the finances." And the best thing he said to me was basically "I don't know what God's calling you to, but I know he definitely wants you in that room-He's calling you to the where." I know that's a bit cryptic, but I'm still sharing so I can remember for way down the road.

All in all, it was a wonderful, spiritually renewing retreat. I came back so excited about my faith again, and it was evident last night when we held our monthly CWOC meeting. This month's was entitled "May with Mary" and the women in that room were just shining with the light of the Lord. It was so beautiful. God is so good and we are so blessed, especially in this amazing community.

Day 4- Papa Francesco!

Day 4 began with our plans to attend Mass at St. Anne's Parish. This is the Church where Fr. Nathan said his first Mass, and the parish church for everyone that lives in Vatican City. We allowed plenty of time to get there, but unfortunately, the metro ran a lot less trips on Sunday, so after waiting 7 minutes, one showed up, with everyone squished in more than we'd ever seen before. SARDINE TIME! We ended up being about 7 minutes late, which we hate.

This church is pretty small, and there were no seats when we got there. No biggie, we can stand. However, several people stood up and insisted the girls and I sit. So we did. Very difficult, as Beka started asking for milk. I put one girl on each side of me, and maneuvered the Tula to nurse her while wearing her. She nursed and fell asleep, score! Makes the best Mass, especially in a place where we have the only children, and are surrounded by tons of old ladies. The girls decided though they didn't want to sit and they wanted to stand with daddy. I told them no, that nice people had given their seats up for us, and we were going to accept their gratitude. In typical 4yo fashion, Abby started to cry nice and loud, everyone staring at us now. ::Sigh:: Pick my battles, let her go stand with daddy. So now 6yo decides well, it worked for her, so she started crying, and got to stand with him as well.

Afterwards, we headed out of the church and waited for Fr. Nathan to meet us. Then we headed for the Plaza of St. Peter's to get ready to see Pope Francis. We found one small shady spot in the shade of a fountain, and sat there, and had a picnic snack. During this time, they had huge screens showing what was going on in St. Peter's. It was very evident that Mass was going on with Pope Francis and some other man from another nationality. Fr. Nathan, knowing a bit of Italian, said "My Italian's not great, but I THINK he just said something about a Doctor of the Church and Armenian genocide." We later discovered that yes, Gregory of Narek was declared a Doctor of the Church by Pope Francis. This happened in February, but I guess this was the Mass that made it official. Very cool info to learn, and to know we were there for it without exactly realizing it. The man at the Mass must have been the Armenian leader of the Armenian Rite.

A little while later, with the plaza packed, Papa Francesco came out of the little window and gave his address in Italian. Fr. Nathan translated it to Jon, but I wasn't able to listen. They said something about how he said respect our elders in a nutshell. Then he did the  Regina Coeli. Typically he'd do the Angelus, but since it was Easter, he did the Regina Coeli and gave his Papal Blessing. So cool!

Then we left the crazy and packed plaza and went to look for somewhere to eat. During this time, we ran in to John, a guy my husband knew when we was at seminary. They talked for a minute or two, then we moved on. We happened to go down a small road that no one was on, and found a nice little pizza place, so went inside for coolness (it was so hot on the plaza!) and lunch. Pizza, sodas, cappuccinos, and veggies. Very good, but in the end, a bit expensive. But since this was the only full meal we ate out, we were ok with this.

Afterwards, we headed toward the Castle San Angelo. We walked around the outside of the castle, then went inside. Unfortunately, as we were going in, my blood sugar was dropping quickly, so we got to handle me drinking tons of liquids while trying to climb the stairs. We took our time, to hopefully avoid dropping my sugar more, and enjoyed the views.

We had promised the kids we would get gelato this day, so we headed back to St. Peter's and went to the Old Bridge Ice Cream place. Can't recommend it enough. Jon splurged and got everyone a waffle cone. They were huge, and after we were all covered in sticky ice cream, we headed back to the apartment to wash up, rest, and get a good night's sleep.

B definitely liked Father's Banana flavored ice cream the best.

Rome Day 3- Catacombs

It's almost 4pm here, and I have to admit, I'm trying not to fall asleep. My 6yo was crying saying she wanted a nap, and all i could think was "You're telling me! I want one too!!" Alas, everyone is upstairs playing in the girls room instead, and I'm enjoying a leftover cup of coffee, trying to stay awake, and writing this post instead of finishing unpacking suitcases.

I emailed my husband yesterday, asking him if we had done anything else on day 2. And he's amazing, amazing I tell you! He sent me a list of every thing we did every single day. I dont know how he remembers things like he does!

So yesterday, I forgot to say that after the bookstore, we took a long walk along the Tiber River, ending up at Piazza Populo, where there are two churches next to each other that are identical. We decided to go in to the one on the right, and boy were we glad we did. As we walked in, we saw that Adoration was going on, with the Blessed Sacrament on the Altar. We had a nice time resting in the cool church and praying before Jesus.

On Saturday, day 3, we had decided we were going to sleep in. We were exhausted from not getting sleep the night everyone was sick, to then staying up late packing/getting up early to get to the airport Wed. and Thurs, and then getting up early to get to St. Peter's on Friday. We needed a resting morning if we were going to survive the rest of our vacation. Unfortunately, they started setting up the market in the street at like 6am, and the kids woke up to it! We got them to go back to sleep until about 8am. We had breakfast, then our whole family went and explored the market. We had a lot of fun, shopping together for whatever looked yummy to us.

In the afternoon, we set out for San Callisto Catacombs. We had meant to make reservations to say Mass here, but forgotten to. So, when we arrived, Fr. Nathan went and asked if we could say Mass. The man said do the tour, then afterwards, we could say Mass. We went on the tour, learning how they just kept digging deeper and deeper, so the people on the top were from the 2nd century and the people on the bottom were from the 5th century. It was very interesting. We had visited these catacombs 3 years ago, but it was neat taking our kids back. At the end of the tour, they took us to to an altar IN the catacombs, to say Mass where all these martyrs for the faith had been buried so many centuries ago. This was by far one of the most amazing experiences we had.

Unfortunately, I edited all of these pictures to be right side up, and they're still showing up sideways. :( I can't figure out how to change them.

 Setting up for Mass.

Jon doing the reading.

Father giving a homily.

Hannah receiving her 2nd Communion.

Zach receiving his 2nd Communion.

Our family after Mass.

Afterwards, we went to the Holy Stairs. St. Helena brought them to Rome, and they are the stairs from Pontious Pilate's house. It is believed that these were the stairs that Jesus climbed when he was being condemned to death. You are not allowed to walk up them, and must go up them on your knees, so we all did (Except the baby was on my back, asleep), praying all the way up. Very humbling to say the least. Then we went in to San Giovanni. This Basilica is special because it was the Church that Fr Nathan was ordained in 3 years ago. It was neat to take our children there and explain this to them.

Afterwards, we headed back to the apartment, where Jon made the best meal we had. He roasted a chicken and fresh veggies (eggplant and zuchini) and made risotto for the first time ever. It was delicious!

Rome- Day 2 First Holy Communion

Day two was the big day. This was the biggest reason we had come to Rome. Zach and Hannah were going to be receiving their First Holy Communion. Father N was able to reserve an altar for their first Communion. However, at this particular church, they only allowed Mass on their altars early in the morning. So, we got up at 6am to get ready to go, and take the subway in to St. Peter's Basillica!

We arrived at 7:45 and I took Hannah in to the bathroom to get her white dress on. I hadn't wanted to dare let her wear it on the subway! We were all ready, and followed Fr. N into the great church. He went and got dressed in the Sacristy, then we were escorted behind the ropes, and down in to the grotto of the Basilica.

Here, there are several small chapels, and we were going to be having Mass in the Chapel of the Bruised Madonna. In the 15th century, a soldier, mad over losing while gambling, threw a stone at the picture of Mary and she began bleeding. The tiles the blood fell on are still hanging in the chapel, and we  were able to touch them. There is also a very visible bruise on Mary's face still to this day. All around us, there were other Masses going on in other languages. And it was beautiful hearing all these chapels singing "Alleluia" since it was the Octave of Easter.

Fr. N said Mass, and Zach and Hannah were both able to receive their First Holy Communion. We were all so happy, excited and proud of them. Here are a few pictures.

Afterwards, we went outside and grabbed some pictures and snacks. We were the spotlight. When I put these two next to the church to take a picture, all these strangers started taking their picture. I felt like the whole time I was on guard to get between people and their camera, but I failed a lot. At one point, I got done taking their picture to turn around to see at least 10 people with their ipods/tablets standing behind me taking their picture!! Other cultures are so odd to me about some things. 

Then we changed in the bathrooms of the Basilica. I had a really cool nursing experience happen. I was sitting in the air-conditioned hallway while the boys were changing, nursing Beka. Across from me, a lot of teens were sitting on the floor and the guard came up and told them they couldn't sit there and they needed to head outside. Then he walked towards me, bringing me a chair! I was very grateful and impressed. 

Afterwards, we went back inside and did the Dome of St. Peter's. The younger two girls and I went to the middle of the Dome, saw it up top, then hung out on the roof of St. Peter's. Meanwhile, Jon, Fr. N, and the older two decided to climb all the way to the top. I made the executive decision I didn't want to climb the tight, claustrophobic area, and that we did not need to take Abby up that high after her immense fear at the top of Notre Dame. So we ate nutella and peaked in the giftshop and took a few selfies lol. 

When we got back down from the Dome, we took a few more pictures. Then we headed to the USO Rome because they advertised free pizza on Fridays from 12-2. We got there at 12:30 and they had just ordered the pizza, which soon arrived- 1 box. It was ok. Maybe they were not use to large families coming? As we were leaving, a family of 5 came in, before 2, and they had already cleaned up from lunch. I appreciated that we got a bit of free pizza, but i put this to warn people, dont count on a full lunch if you plan to go there and have a large family. It was nice to use clean bathrooms though. They don't have a changing table though, and seemed really surprised when I asked them if there was somewhere they'd prefer me to change her lol. I just used their couch.We then went to a store for a few souvenirs and headed home, to eat leftover tortellini.