Losing a child

This week, some very close friends of ours asked for prayers. The husband's sister, 27 weeks pregnant, was being flown to the hospital, where they received some devastating news. The baby is missing a valve in her heart, and the blood isn't going where it's suppose to. Please, please pray for baby L and her mom, J and their family.

Hearing about this woman has brought up so many memories for me. It's brought up our recent miscarriage. It brought up my friend, Jobeth, who miscarried right after me. It brought up the loss of my friend, Ann Marie's precious daughter, Gianna. It brought up my friend Lisa, and her beautiful daughter Lucy. It brought up a friend Sarah, who just found out her baby is not developing correctly and is being referred to a specialist. (Since posting this, Sarah has informed everyone that the baby has fetal acrania. Please keep her family in your prayers as well as they navigate the tough road ahead of them too.) It brought up my friend Marcella who just had a miscarriage last week. It brought up another Sarah who's daughter died in college recently. It brought up many, many, many other women I know who have experienced the loss of a child. It made me pray, and pray and pray for these women, and their families, as I know they are all still grieving in some ways.

I finally grabbed a book I've been meaning to read, especially these past few months. I Will Carry You by Angie Smith. If you have experienced the loss of a child, in any way, an early miscarriage, delivering a child knowing what was coming, a SIDS death, a death of an older child, or even if you've known someone who has or is going through it, I recommend this book. It has rocked me. Completely and utterly rocked my world.

Today, God did something beautiful in my life. The day I started bleeding, I knew a lady in our MOPS group was in labor. I had stopped by her house earlier in the day to pick up some maternity clothes she was getting rid of, and she was telling me she was having some contractions. I got home, and about 2 hours later started bleeding.

That evening, I headed to the ER alone. I probably could have had Jon go with me, but I didn't want to inconvenience anyone. I'd had a miscarriage before, and didn't think it was necessary for him to go with me. My miscarriage has taught me several things, this being one of them, to ask for help! In the end though, being alone at the ER was what I needed, time to gather my thoughts, to pray and to meditate, to listen to what God needed me to hear.

While in the ER, I couldn't help but think of how this woman was in labor, VERY possibly right above me, delivering her baby while I was in the ER, losing mine. I decided to pray for her, for her labor, that it would be a smooth labor, that there would be a healthy baby and mama in the end. In the Catholic world, we call this offering it up, offering up our suffering to pray for those in need. Many women, while in labor, pray for those experiencing infertility for example. I thought, this was a perfect chance to pray for my friend.

That was 10 weeks ago. I had not met the baby yet. Today, I went to a playdate and they were there. I was dying to hold the sweet little guy for just a moment. I eventually finally asked if I could. I held him for a while, then he started getting fussy, and I stood up and started to rock him, watching his eyes get weary. This is one of my favorite things about babies, watching them snuggle in to you, relaxing, feeling safe, and falling asleep, leaving the wonders of the world behind them, just to trust you at that moment. Somehow, holding this sweet baby I'd been praying for when he arrived, helped me in such an amazing way. I somehow managed to hold the tears back.

The mom ended up asking me how I was doing. No one has really asked that as of lately. I greatly appreciated it and it meant a lot. I was able to share with her a bit, and then shared with her how I'd been praying for her during her labor. The most amazing part of all of this is the family is leaving Germany in just a few days. God... mysterious ways, huh?

If you know of a family who has lost a child, please take the time to pray for them, and often. Don't forget their babies. Always remember them. Let them know you're thinking about them and praying for them, even months or years after they've lost their child. Send them a note, email, text, whatever to let them know you're thinking of them and praying for them. And, I'll say it again, pray for them.