Down!

So, Zach has finally figured out how to climb DOWN the stairs! You have no clue how happy this makes a very pregnant mommy who no longer has to lug the 25+lb kid down them. Yesterday, I heard him throwing something down the stairs, then a few seconds later, I noticed his voice was "lower" so I went to look. He had thrown his sippy cup down the stairs, gone to get it, and was climbing back up them. ::Ahhh...:: Amazing how the simple things in life can make one happy. He's cute on the stairs though. He KIND OF says "Down" when going down them and says "Up" when coming up them.

Because of this, he's doing a LOT more climbing. He can ALMOST get up on the couch on his own, and can completely get down on his own. He has a little tikes castle in the den, and has figured out how to climb up it, then loves to slide down and clap at the bottom. It's sooooo cute! This morning, for the first time, instead of sliding down the slide, he just decided to push himself off the side hahaha. He was fine, landed on his legs instead of his feet though. He's playing on the couch next to me as I type, squeeling and laughing. He's such a nut!

He's getting so good with walking too. Our playgroup at church started a Bible study yesterday which I'm so excited about! When I picked him up from the nursery, he walked too the stairs, climbed up all of them (basically 2 flights), then walked all the way to the parking lot, when I decided it'd be better to carry him. He tripped a few times, but stood right back up and kept going. He loves to walk.

In other news, it's 9:30am. We've been up an hour... I REALLY need to make my eggs and get him some breakfast and do SOMETHING around this house today, or maybe even sew when Zach's asleep?? I don't know... but the house is NOT up to par!

self-encouragement

This post is really more for myself, to come back and read when I'm not thinking clearly the coming few weeks. But, if you want to add encouragement, I sure could use it and would appreciate it!

I've always struggled with bad anxiety, and it seems to be the worst it's been in a looooong time. I'm so nervous about Hannah's arrival. For one, the doctors want me delivered by 37 weeks... so we decided the other day to figure out when that was, since I've been saying I'm due Dec 7, but really... that's Nov. 16! That's 9 weeks from today! AHH! (And Zach's one year birthday is TWO weeks from today!!!) Ok, so that just freaked me out...

But then, if you don't know, I had a c-section with Zach and am praying for a VBAC (Vaginal birth after cesarean) this time. That leaves a LOT up in the air. For one, I have to go in to labor on my own prior to 37 weeks... So, that's one thing giving me anxiety.

Then, I have to pray she's not too large. Zach was born at 36weeks and 6 days, weighing 9.4 lbs. I think had things progressed differently, I really think I could have delivered him. The doctors say that if she's bigger than 8.5, yes, 8.5, they don't want me to try!!! :-0 Ok, I can say too bad and try still if I want... I think I'm willing to try up to 10 lbs, but idk, so that's all on my mind. And of course, she's measuring big already. (SoOOO not fair to me, because they blame it on my diabetes. While part of it is my diabetes, it's also that WE'RE NOT SMALL PEOPLE!!!... and I am taking GREAT control of my diabetes, it's just something that happens to diabetics)

My other option is that if I get to 37 weeks, and am already dialated a little bit, they can give me pitocin in really small dosages and watch out for uterine rupture. But all that scares me! Pitocin means stronger contractions, meaning I'd be more tempted to settle for an epidural, which could slow down labor like it did with Zach.

So, in a nut shell, I'm really worried about going in to labor, on my own, prior to 37 weeks, and everything that labor itself entails. I really, really want it to all work out and be "the perfect birth." My personal self-encouragement? God is in control. Whatever happens, God has Hannah and me in His hands and will take care of us. He knows the desires of my heart. He knows we want a VBAC because Jon and I really want 5 children. I need to know/remember that God knows that, and if he has me end up in a c-section again, he's got his reasons and that he will either change the desires of our hearts, or make it ok for 5 c-sections, or allow us to adopt. It's one of those things that I know God's in control, but when I'm uptight with anxiety, I forget about it or ignore it and need a good reminder.

So that's the basic anxiety part, but then, there's the childcare issue for Zach... Jon's best friend said he will watch Zach (he's currently a SAHD) but, he's trying to get a job. I have two women I'm hoping to ask from church who are SAHMs. I have been trying for like 2 weeks, with no luck yet, so here's praying I'll be able to this week.

Plus, trying to get everything else done, like making Hannah's bedding, painting her room (finding out if we can), trying to decide if we want to do childbirth classes again or not, Jon getting the time off, buying a dresser and mattress, putting that and the crib together, washing all of her clothes, trying to decide if she'll be born when it's warm or cold, etc. etc etc. With Zach, I had said I'd start getting anxious and nervous in Oct(he was due oct 22), but he showed up Sept 28, so I never had a chance. This time, it's all so overwhelming!!! Ok, I'm done.... If you read all of this, thanks for reading.

Lesson learned and scary moment

Well, Jon got to do the first "Honey fix-it project" the other night... PSA- Do NOT run the disposal with the thing FULL of carrot peels, and then try again after the sink starts to fill up. He had to disassemble the disposal, and a huge pile of carrot peels fell out, along with all the water that had filled up in the sink. Note to self- next time, just throw them all away instead. It's not that hard.

So yesterday, I got the chance to go shopping- ALONE!... when Jon called and I could tell he was really upset (totally unlike Jon!) Apparently Zach had found a quarter and Jon went to grab it and Zach shoved it in his mouth. Jon said he was up to his knuckles in Zach's mouth trying to get it out and that Zach was starting to turn blue by the time he got it out! Praise God Jon was able to remain calm and get it out. I honestly don't know if I would have been able to remain calm. And thank God he was in the same room, because Jon said he couldn't make any noise. Jon was sooo shaken up and said he's never been so scared in his life! Poor Jon kept having bad "what-if" dreams all night long.

How do kids manage to find the small things, the things you don't even realize are hiding where they're hiding?? He's sooo good at it. This has just scared both of us a lot.

Today

Today has been a little frustrating. Zach woke up twice in the middle of the night, which has become more common for him, grrr. Then I heard him wake up about 8:30 talking and thought "I'll lay here just a few more minutes"... next thing I knew, it was 9:30 and at this point, he was starting to cry to get up. I felt kind of bad. So we got up, I fed him, but he was grumpy in his high chair. I made my eggs and english muffin, got him down and (Warning- gross alert) within seconds of me setting him on the floor, my breakfast came back up. I was like what the heck!?! I haven't been in over 15 weeks! Thankfully we had a small trashcan sitting in the dining room, because I wouldn't have even made it in to the kitchen. So I felt really gross this morning.

About 11:30, Zach was acting sleepy, so I put him to bed for what is usually a 2 hourish nap. No, he played and talked and whimpered for 45 min, so I finally got him back up and he played until 1:30 when it was so ready for bedtime. Put him to bed, and he fell asleep for 25 min!!! I was so annoyed. I didn't even get the dishes finished. So I got him up, finished the dishes, and when I closed the dishwasher, he just lost it and wouldn't stop crying for like 3-4 minutes, so I put him back to bed. He's in there now, kind of whimpering. We'll see if he falls asleep. I REALLY hope so because I'd like to clean the bathrooms while he's sleeping and maybe even take a shower myself. So, that's been today thus far. Exciting huh? Oh, and Jon's working. He'll be home around 6. I'm a bad wife and haven't even thought of dinner yet. All I can think is "Ordering a pizza sounds great." because it's just been one of those days...

In other news, we're feeling so blessed and thankful. One Wed., one of the mom's in playgroup came up and asked me if we needed a crib. Apparently her neighbor was done with theirs and wanted to give it to someone who needed it. And boy do we! That's one of the things that's been hanging over our head to prepare for Hannah. I'm so thankful. Jon just keeps saying "See, I told you it'd all work out." haha.. yeah, I know, he just has better faith than me sometimes. Well, that's all folks.

Actual post

I guess I can do an actual post too... Umm... I'm 26 weeks pregnant with Hannah. (lol, I wrote that without the word "weeks"... trying to make myself older than I am heehee)... she is soooo different in the womb that Zach was. she flips and rolls a lot. Breech, transverse, normal, etc. It's really weird and odd. I'm starting to get really anxious. I have this huge feeling that she's going to come really early, so I've made a list of things we need to do to get ready. The one that's stressing me out the most is trying to set up childcare for Zach when I go in to labor. Plus there's paying off the doula, finding childcare for birthing classes, taking the birthing classes, writing out my birth plan, painting Hannah's room, getting new furniture for Zach (she gets the nursery furniture since it has the changing table), etc etc etc.

In other news, I'm learning to sew. I couldn't find what I wanted in baby bedding for the price I wanted, so I'm making it! I've made Zach a new set of sheets (Flannel green camo with frogs on it heehee) and I've made Hannah's sheets. I think I'm going to make the dust ruffle next, if not the bumper. The material is 2 kinds... one is pink with what looks like a white overlay. However, the overlay isn't an actual overlay, it's printed in the material. But I felt like it was too much pink, so I got white material with pink polka dots to calm it down a little. Now I'm trying to decide though if I want to paint the room pink as well, or if that'd be too much. I'm thinking about trying to throw some lavender in somewhere, but i don't know.

Zach is growing so fast. He'll be one at the end of the month! We're planning a small BBQ for a few other couples we know and a little cake for him. He's walking everywhere and gets so excited doing it. He also climbs EVERYTHING. His newest thing is to climb up the tv cabinet and stare at the tv for a while. But then, he can't get down and starts to cry. Yesterday, I had moved the trashcan in to the dining room so i could mop the kitchen... I found Zach sitting on the floor, trashcan pulled over, with black beans, salsa, tea bags, a bottle with some formula I had to throw away and more, all over the floor. I said "What did you do!" and he just looked at me and smiled and clapped. How are you suppose to stay serious and "discipline" in that case when all I'm trying to do is not crack up laughing, even though I'm really kind of mad. The way kids can make you get past anger is amazing lol.

Jon's sister had her baby, Christopher Damian, on Friday night. He was born at 11:57pm, and her birthday was Sat. heehee. He just barely missed being born on her birthday. Congrats to Mary and Tim! One of Jon's sisters also got engaged recently, so it looks like we're going to be going to MO in Jan. I'm really hoping we'll be able to get to FL some time at the beginning of next year as well. Anyway, that's all I can think of right now. OH! And I may have posted about it before, but we LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE our new house. :)

my quirks

Ok, I haven't posted in a while, so here's something funish... I was tagged by Viviane to list my 6 quirks. THis is hard bc I don't really think I have any lol...

1) I have a certain way I liked the dishwasher loaded and it annoys me when Jon doesn't load it that way.

2) I have a certain way I bathe in the shower, and cannot switch it up.

3) This one is really gross just to warn you... I HATE zits and if I see one on me, I pop it immediately... and on my husband lol- He HATES that lol.

4) My hair always has to be pulled back, either 1/2 ponytail, ponytail, clips, something. i cannot stand for it to be in my face.

5) idk if this counts... but I hate it when people make comments on other people's family planning, whether it's "was that a surprise?", "Do you have a tv?", "When are you having another one?", "are you getting fixed after this?", "Are you going to have 15 kids?", etc etc etc. Especially when you don't know people's circumstances, have they been trying and not been able to get pregnant? etc.

6) hmmm.... I'm really not sure about a last one... OH!!! Goldfish. I LOVE goldfish (the crackers) but I HAVE TO eat every one by putting in my mouth, to the side, and splitting it down the center with my teeth. EVERY ONE I eat is eaten like that.

There you go E...

New week

This week is going a little better. This past weekend when Jon was off, we got the kitchen completely unpacked, I was able to sweep and mop, our dishwasher was replaced with a working one, etc. Having an unpacked, organized kitchen has really helped me feel better about the week.

It also has been raining, thank God! It's so much cooler! It's 59 degrees outside right now. Soooo nice :)

Jon and I decided we DESPERATELY needed a date. I don't think we've been on one since Feb, for my birthday. I have so many things I want to talk to him about, but I haven't brought them up because I know they're things we need time to talk about. Between moving and trying to unpack, Zach, and Jon's work schedule, we just haven't had time. For example, we have yet to even really talk about the fact that hey, we're having a girl. So we've asked someone to watch Zach for us this weekend. We're going to dinner, and then we might go see the Batman movie at the IMAX.

In Zach news, he's been so cute. Well, except for climbing on EVERYTHING, but he's also trying to walk. He actually took his first step yesterday! And then he did it again today and then accidentally took 2 steps at one point. He's either scared, or, it's so cute. You stand him up to get him to walk and he gets so excited about standing by himself that he claps or raises his hands like "YAY!!!" and then falls from the excitement lol. It's pretty funny. He's VERY quick. Open the fridge or the bathroom and he's there instantly to get in to it. the other day, i wasn't paying attention and found him in our bathroom, water all over the toilet seat and he had chewed on the toilet paper lol. He chews on everything! My flip flops look like we have a puppy in the house haha. He's such a cutie and a nut lol. Definitely keeps me on my toes!

Rough week

I'm just really having a rough week. Of course, you know me, I'm trying to hide it, but I'm just feeling the weight of things this week. It figures, because last week I felt like I was on a mountain and feeling so blessed by what God has given us. But, I just need to blow some steam...

* So lately, Zach has been refusing to eat his solids. He's been a GOOD eater before, yogurt in the morning-now won't even eat breakfast and goes from a bottle at 6am til 10:30 without eating, about 4-6 cubes of food for lunch- just not interested at all, and for dinner, he was usually eating 8 cubes of food. The past several nights, he's just flat out refused to even eat any dinner. Tonight, he did eat a good portion of it, but it was SUCH a struggle. I'm tired of throwing away his food too.

* Which brings me to my second part. Because of this, his poo's aren't solid lately, and he's leaking, BAD. Well, actually, it's not just pooey diapers either, he just keeps wetting through diapers. We haven't used cloth diapers in about a month and just started back this week, due to the ever persistent yeast rash (which I think is back!!! :*( That makes me want to cry all alone) But every morning since we started back, I've had to change his sheets, and once after a nap as well. In fact, one night, I changed him at 4am because he had soaked through his clothes, and then when I got him up at 8am, he had pooped so much, it was leaking through his clothes and poop all over the sheets. I've never had so many problems with CDs and I wasn't having this problem with disposables. I really hate to go back to disposables because they're so expensive! I want to use my CDs :*(

*So, with that, and the rash back, I MUST call and make an appointment for him to see the doctor. We fought the yeast rash for 3.5 weeks I think, and it was finally gone, so we went back to cloth, and he has a rash again. I don't know if it's still the yeast that was hiding, or if it's just a BAD diaper rash that isn't getting better. ::sigh::

*Jon's been working 12 hour night shifts all week... meaning we see each other from 2-4pm. Meaning, I'm alone with Zach... and Zach, well, he's everywhere. 3-4 steps UP the baby gate to climb over so he can fall down the stairs. I'm trying to teach him to crawl up and down them. He's got the up, but down, he just wants to bite the stairs on the carpet. He's in to everything- cabinets, open boxes, baggies, chemicals, etc. We're trying to baby proof, but it's taking time. Plus, the diaper problems. Plus, the eating problems. Plus, he's been really whiney today. Plus...

*I had/have 3 appointments this week and Bible study yesterday morning. So, his morning schedule has been shot.... Plus, the 2 hours in the afternoon Jon's been up, we've had to spend at the apartment cleaning and repainting it white, so Zach's afternoon's haven't been normal either. (thank God we finished all that today!) So, he's grumpy. I'm not seeing my husband and I'm doing it all alone, so I'm grumpy. Zach's also waking up in the middle of the night STILL. So, I'm having to wake up at 3am, sometimes more, to feed him. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. The house still isn't unpacked. I keep having hopes.

*Oh! And our dishwasher isn't cleaning. Our landlord is coming out tomorrow to look at it for us, but on top of everything else, I've gotten the extra job of handwashing dishes... now, keep in mind how active Zach is, so... it can only be done when he's napping (Which, we haven't been home for his naps) or when he's in bed for the night.

*and on top of that, for two days, I wasn't feeling Hannah kick, so was a little worried. I did feel her kick today, but I also had cramping or maybe semi- braxton hicks contractions. Idk, but it didn't feel good. Good thing I have an OB appointment on my list for tomorrow.

WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it Friday yet?!?! If you read all of this, thanks.

It's a...

Girl! I think everyone who reads this already heard, but we're having a little girl! :) We're so excited! Her name will be Hannah Elizabeth. While many people think this is a "perfect family" and "one of each" it doesn't mean we're done, unless God changes our hearts. That's becoming my pet peeve... and for the record, not that anyone reading this would say it, but... NO! We're not getting "fixed" now! Jon has been asked that TWICE in less than a week!!! I was shocked people had the guts to ask us such a question, especially when they aren't even close to us!

Anyway, that is part of our exciting news. The other part is we are moved in! Wahoo! We all love our new house, esp Zach. He has so much room to crawl and explore... and climb! We caught him half way up the baby gate on the stairs today! I guess I just better go ahead and start teaching him how to crawl up and down them. We are FAR from unpacked, but it's happening real slowly. I think this is God keeping me from over-doing it. I had one day last week where I was having Braxton Hicks contractions because I over did it, and I learned my lesson from that. Anyway, that's our big news.

Moving!

Well, we're moving! We decided we could no longer stay in a little 2 bedroom crowded apartment, so we're literally moving across the park from where we live now, into a nice 4bed, 3 bath house, 2 stories, with a finished basement, huge 2 car garage, etc. We're so excited. We sign the lease on the 16th and will likely spend the day cleaning bathrooms and kitchen and such, and moving small stuff in that the cars can carry. Then the 17th we find out what our baby is! Can't wait, and that afternoon we'll be moving the big stuff in. I can't wait. That's really all my big news :)