Trusting God in the midst of a move

We are 39 days out of having to be out of Germany, and still do not have orders. Until we have orders, we can not schedule movers, schedule plane tickets, schedule hotels, etc. We're basically sitting and twiddling our thumbs. Our house is in shambles, everything piled in different corners of the den to be boxed up by men we don't know. Every other move we've done- four other moves- we have moved on our own. All of the stuff sitting in my den would already be boxed up, waiting for us to pick up the Uhaul and load it. But, it's not possible when moving back to the states. (When we moved here, we had everything in storage and the movers just picked it up and put it on the truck.)

Anyone who knows me know that this move has been a struggle for me. I know all the comments by memory. "You're going to love ID. It's in God's hands. Jesus, I trust in you. Give it to our Mother Mary." And while I know all of this, and know that I need trust God, at times, it's hard. My faith has been very lacking, and the past month has been very rough and dark for me. My heart says trust God, while my mind does what it wants, gets stressed, freaks out, plays all the 'what if' scenarios, gets anxious, and just stops trusting God, even saying I don't believe it's in His hands any more.

I realized something had to give. I realized I needed a Sacrament, the Sacrament of Confession. (I know many of my friends will not understand this Sacrament, and I really struggled with it before converting to the Catholic faith, but now, I realize it has so many benefits and is incredibly scriptural. This article explains it really well if you are interested in understanding our beliefs better.)    I finally went this weekend, and what a difference it made. It had been too long, and I think that I had not realized the impact of the darkness of sin on my life.

Aside from that, I had a friend encourage several of us to do "33 Days to Merciful Love"- a do-it-yourself retreat. It wasn't suppose to begin until Aug 27, but I just had to begin. I knew I was thirsty for something. I have done about a week, and am completely blown away. The whole first week was on trusting God. Yesterday's meditation talked about how Eve brought original sin into the world, and through her, we lost our trust in God. And that the New Eve- Mary- came to restore that doubt. We sometimes run from God because of our lack of trust, so He uses Mary to bring us back to Him. That she helps provide the grace to come back to Him.

At this time, I am at a place of peace. I'm trying not to worry, and just leaving it in the Lord's hands. It will all work out, just not the way I'd prefer. It will be stressful. But, it will work out.