Whining and updates

I'm just going to warn you, this post has pregnancy whining in it, so don't read if you don't want to hear whining.

I am so done with being pregnant! I'm 36 weeks now. She can come, it's fine, I'd be thrilled, honestly, even if she spent some time in NICU, I'd be ok with it. My biggest complaint is my hands! They are completely numb and tingling, ALL.THE.TIME. Simple things, like changing Zach's diapers or scrubbing dishes or opening packages or typing, are soooo difficult. Last night, I woke up in pain from them. It's like a pregnancy induced carpel tunnel. Nothing I can do...

I have other pains, like round ligament, but I'm handling that fine. I'm trying to do other things to encourage labor, walking, pineapple and eggplant, and other stuff. Hopefully it'll help real soon.

I've kind of been given an extra week. THey wanted a growth scan for 36 weeks, but I already had one scheduled for 37. When I pointed that out this week, they said that was fine. When they see the growth scan and her size, that's when they'll determine a repeat c-section or not or what. The good part about it, the growth scan is scheduled for 37weeks 5 days, so almost 38 weeks. It's also a Fri., so I don't think they'd schedule the c-section until for Monday. I also asked my doc when they want me delivered by, and she said my sugars were looking good, etc, so 38 weeks. This gives me the extra week too, as they'd been saying by 37 weeks. If she doesn't come on her own, i guess the c-section would be scheduled for 38 weeks.

Here's the other deal. My parents and sister are coming out for Thanksgiving! Wahoo! They arrive the day of that growth scan though. I soooo wish she comes before they get here. Even if I'm in the hospital a day or two while they're here, that's fine. So... I need prayers please that she'll come on her own before 11/21. The sooner, the better in my book. And wow! That's less than 2 weeks away! Scary. I'm all ready though, except for mine and zach's bags packed. And I've een nesting like crazy the past few days. My house is finally starting to look like I want it to!

Then there's Zach. I swear he knows something's about to change. HE's become a little demon at times. Like yesterday, we played back and forth between the trash and my laptop. He'd get in the trash, I'd spank his hands, it wouldn't phase him and he'd run to my laptop, and repeat. Then I discovered he'd unplugged he deep freezer a few days ago. Thankfully almost everything was still frozen, but I wasn't too happy. He has also totally thrown any thought of a schedule out the window. He's started waking up earlier, but needing 2 naps again. I dont mind the 2 naps, but ehh, 7:30 isnt fun. Oh well. Anyway, that's about it.

My pregnancy and Zach

Well, first Zach turned 1 a few weeks ago. Holy cow! We had a nice party with some friends and he did real well with his cake, after a while haha. Jon had to give him a fork, then he dug in- not that he ate it with the fork though lol. He's so funny. He likes to get in the trash. He usually only tries when Jon's NOT home. He is SUCH a daddy's boy. Prime example: When Jon's home from work, Zach MUST have Jon rock him and sing him to sleep. If I try, doesn't work and he cries and cries. When Jon's not home at bedtime, he goes to sleep just fine for me. He just wants daddy to rock him and sing him to sleep. Lately he's been "helping" Jon outside, as Jon's been trying to get some yardwork done before the snows start. They planted a whole bunch of tulips and daffadils along the walkway to our door. In the backyard, they've cut down a bush and put a lot of the river rock in a corner, so that we can hopefully have a small garden next year. Zach has also started "sharing". He's very good about handing us things when we ask for them, MOST OF THE TIME, and when we're eating, he really wants to give us bites. It's really cute, but sometimes annoying because he'll do it instead of eating his food. He's also kind of picky about eating. He'll eat when he wants to, not when we want him to haha. We're working on that. Other than that, he's just being all around cute, cuddley and fun. Oh yeah, he's become very cuddley, which I love. But, I'm wondering if this is going to stick around or just a phase. I told Jon I think he knows Hannah's coming and he's trying to become lovey dovey now haha.

And for the pregnancy.... ::Sigh:: this pregnancy has been much more difficult than Zach. It's not hard health wise, it's just like I'm dying trying to keep up with Zach and handle a pregnancy at the same time. But it's alright. My diabetes is doing great lately, thank God. I don't think I could handle the stress of it being really bad right now. I'm just ready for it all to be done honestly. I'm 32 1/2 weeks, but my doctors want me delivered by 37 weeks. My current prayer is that she'll come on her own on the 12th or 13th. It'd be perfect timing for us. I feel more comfortable though, as I always feel like if I can make it to 32 weeks, all will be ok even if she comes early.

We met with the doula last night and I feel a little more confident about the VBAC and having her present during labor and delivery. She had a lot of good advice and thoughts. We're also doing a lot of natural induction techniques to convince Hannah that she wants to come sooner than later haha. I've also started having a REALLY weird pain that I need to ask about. I started my BPPs and NSTs this week (biophysical profile/non-stress test) She scored a perfect 10 on the first one. Next one is tomorrow, and I get to take Zach. I'm hoping he'll behave!

Anyway, thats about it!

Totally blessed

Well, we had a long list of things we "need" for Hannah. I went to evaluate it yesterday, and the only thing missing is a mattress and a sling! We were given her crib... then our friends gave us 4 boxes of baby clothes size 0-9months! Not to mention lots of girlie blankets, one of the shower-cap type car seat covers for the winter, and more. Then we needed a dresser. We decided to look at goodwill, thrift stores, etc, because the cheapest we could find in a store was over $100. Well, we found one at a thrift store for about $50, which was our budget, that is so cool. It's like an antique woman's dresser, which goes with our "theme"-porcelain dolls and elegance. We also bought paint this past weekend, but won't be able to paint for a while still.

In other news, Zach turns one on Sunday. HOLY COW! We're suppose to have a party for him on Sat. However, he's been sick :( He had a fever on Sunday, and has had a runny nose since. I'm trying everything possible, hoping it's better/gone by tomorrow. I don't want to have to cancel!! :( Anyway, I think Zach is finally asleep, so I'm going to take the chance to take a shower and try to clean the bathroom.

Down!

So, Zach has finally figured out how to climb DOWN the stairs! You have no clue how happy this makes a very pregnant mommy who no longer has to lug the 25+lb kid down them. Yesterday, I heard him throwing something down the stairs, then a few seconds later, I noticed his voice was "lower" so I went to look. He had thrown his sippy cup down the stairs, gone to get it, and was climbing back up them. ::Ahhh...:: Amazing how the simple things in life can make one happy. He's cute on the stairs though. He KIND OF says "Down" when going down them and says "Up" when coming up them.

Because of this, he's doing a LOT more climbing. He can ALMOST get up on the couch on his own, and can completely get down on his own. He has a little tikes castle in the den, and has figured out how to climb up it, then loves to slide down and clap at the bottom. It's sooooo cute! This morning, for the first time, instead of sliding down the slide, he just decided to push himself off the side hahaha. He was fine, landed on his legs instead of his feet though. He's playing on the couch next to me as I type, squeeling and laughing. He's such a nut!

He's getting so good with walking too. Our playgroup at church started a Bible study yesterday which I'm so excited about! When I picked him up from the nursery, he walked too the stairs, climbed up all of them (basically 2 flights), then walked all the way to the parking lot, when I decided it'd be better to carry him. He tripped a few times, but stood right back up and kept going. He loves to walk.

In other news, it's 9:30am. We've been up an hour... I REALLY need to make my eggs and get him some breakfast and do SOMETHING around this house today, or maybe even sew when Zach's asleep?? I don't know... but the house is NOT up to par!

self-encouragement

This post is really more for myself, to come back and read when I'm not thinking clearly the coming few weeks. But, if you want to add encouragement, I sure could use it and would appreciate it!

I've always struggled with bad anxiety, and it seems to be the worst it's been in a looooong time. I'm so nervous about Hannah's arrival. For one, the doctors want me delivered by 37 weeks... so we decided the other day to figure out when that was, since I've been saying I'm due Dec 7, but really... that's Nov. 16! That's 9 weeks from today! AHH! (And Zach's one year birthday is TWO weeks from today!!!) Ok, so that just freaked me out...

But then, if you don't know, I had a c-section with Zach and am praying for a VBAC (Vaginal birth after cesarean) this time. That leaves a LOT up in the air. For one, I have to go in to labor on my own prior to 37 weeks... So, that's one thing giving me anxiety.

Then, I have to pray she's not too large. Zach was born at 36weeks and 6 days, weighing 9.4 lbs. I think had things progressed differently, I really think I could have delivered him. The doctors say that if she's bigger than 8.5, yes, 8.5, they don't want me to try!!! :-0 Ok, I can say too bad and try still if I want... I think I'm willing to try up to 10 lbs, but idk, so that's all on my mind. And of course, she's measuring big already. (SoOOO not fair to me, because they blame it on my diabetes. While part of it is my diabetes, it's also that WE'RE NOT SMALL PEOPLE!!!... and I am taking GREAT control of my diabetes, it's just something that happens to diabetics)

My other option is that if I get to 37 weeks, and am already dialated a little bit, they can give me pitocin in really small dosages and watch out for uterine rupture. But all that scares me! Pitocin means stronger contractions, meaning I'd be more tempted to settle for an epidural, which could slow down labor like it did with Zach.

So, in a nut shell, I'm really worried about going in to labor, on my own, prior to 37 weeks, and everything that labor itself entails. I really, really want it to all work out and be "the perfect birth." My personal self-encouragement? God is in control. Whatever happens, God has Hannah and me in His hands and will take care of us. He knows the desires of my heart. He knows we want a VBAC because Jon and I really want 5 children. I need to know/remember that God knows that, and if he has me end up in a c-section again, he's got his reasons and that he will either change the desires of our hearts, or make it ok for 5 c-sections, or allow us to adopt. It's one of those things that I know God's in control, but when I'm uptight with anxiety, I forget about it or ignore it and need a good reminder.

So that's the basic anxiety part, but then, there's the childcare issue for Zach... Jon's best friend said he will watch Zach (he's currently a SAHD) but, he's trying to get a job. I have two women I'm hoping to ask from church who are SAHMs. I have been trying for like 2 weeks, with no luck yet, so here's praying I'll be able to this week.

Plus, trying to get everything else done, like making Hannah's bedding, painting her room (finding out if we can), trying to decide if we want to do childbirth classes again or not, Jon getting the time off, buying a dresser and mattress, putting that and the crib together, washing all of her clothes, trying to decide if she'll be born when it's warm or cold, etc. etc etc. With Zach, I had said I'd start getting anxious and nervous in Oct(he was due oct 22), but he showed up Sept 28, so I never had a chance. This time, it's all so overwhelming!!! Ok, I'm done.... If you read all of this, thanks for reading.

Lesson learned and scary moment

Well, Jon got to do the first "Honey fix-it project" the other night... PSA- Do NOT run the disposal with the thing FULL of carrot peels, and then try again after the sink starts to fill up. He had to disassemble the disposal, and a huge pile of carrot peels fell out, along with all the water that had filled up in the sink. Note to self- next time, just throw them all away instead. It's not that hard.

So yesterday, I got the chance to go shopping- ALONE!... when Jon called and I could tell he was really upset (totally unlike Jon!) Apparently Zach had found a quarter and Jon went to grab it and Zach shoved it in his mouth. Jon said he was up to his knuckles in Zach's mouth trying to get it out and that Zach was starting to turn blue by the time he got it out! Praise God Jon was able to remain calm and get it out. I honestly don't know if I would have been able to remain calm. And thank God he was in the same room, because Jon said he couldn't make any noise. Jon was sooo shaken up and said he's never been so scared in his life! Poor Jon kept having bad "what-if" dreams all night long.

How do kids manage to find the small things, the things you don't even realize are hiding where they're hiding?? He's sooo good at it. This has just scared both of us a lot.

Today

Today has been a little frustrating. Zach woke up twice in the middle of the night, which has become more common for him, grrr. Then I heard him wake up about 8:30 talking and thought "I'll lay here just a few more minutes"... next thing I knew, it was 9:30 and at this point, he was starting to cry to get up. I felt kind of bad. So we got up, I fed him, but he was grumpy in his high chair. I made my eggs and english muffin, got him down and (Warning- gross alert) within seconds of me setting him on the floor, my breakfast came back up. I was like what the heck!?! I haven't been in over 15 weeks! Thankfully we had a small trashcan sitting in the dining room, because I wouldn't have even made it in to the kitchen. So I felt really gross this morning.

About 11:30, Zach was acting sleepy, so I put him to bed for what is usually a 2 hourish nap. No, he played and talked and whimpered for 45 min, so I finally got him back up and he played until 1:30 when it was so ready for bedtime. Put him to bed, and he fell asleep for 25 min!!! I was so annoyed. I didn't even get the dishes finished. So I got him up, finished the dishes, and when I closed the dishwasher, he just lost it and wouldn't stop crying for like 3-4 minutes, so I put him back to bed. He's in there now, kind of whimpering. We'll see if he falls asleep. I REALLY hope so because I'd like to clean the bathrooms while he's sleeping and maybe even take a shower myself. So, that's been today thus far. Exciting huh? Oh, and Jon's working. He'll be home around 6. I'm a bad wife and haven't even thought of dinner yet. All I can think is "Ordering a pizza sounds great." because it's just been one of those days...

In other news, we're feeling so blessed and thankful. One Wed., one of the mom's in playgroup came up and asked me if we needed a crib. Apparently her neighbor was done with theirs and wanted to give it to someone who needed it. And boy do we! That's one of the things that's been hanging over our head to prepare for Hannah. I'm so thankful. Jon just keeps saying "See, I told you it'd all work out." haha.. yeah, I know, he just has better faith than me sometimes. Well, that's all folks.

Actual post

I guess I can do an actual post too... Umm... I'm 26 weeks pregnant with Hannah. (lol, I wrote that without the word "weeks"... trying to make myself older than I am heehee)... she is soooo different in the womb that Zach was. she flips and rolls a lot. Breech, transverse, normal, etc. It's really weird and odd. I'm starting to get really anxious. I have this huge feeling that she's going to come really early, so I've made a list of things we need to do to get ready. The one that's stressing me out the most is trying to set up childcare for Zach when I go in to labor. Plus there's paying off the doula, finding childcare for birthing classes, taking the birthing classes, writing out my birth plan, painting Hannah's room, getting new furniture for Zach (she gets the nursery furniture since it has the changing table), etc etc etc.

In other news, I'm learning to sew. I couldn't find what I wanted in baby bedding for the price I wanted, so I'm making it! I've made Zach a new set of sheets (Flannel green camo with frogs on it heehee) and I've made Hannah's sheets. I think I'm going to make the dust ruffle next, if not the bumper. The material is 2 kinds... one is pink with what looks like a white overlay. However, the overlay isn't an actual overlay, it's printed in the material. But I felt like it was too much pink, so I got white material with pink polka dots to calm it down a little. Now I'm trying to decide though if I want to paint the room pink as well, or if that'd be too much. I'm thinking about trying to throw some lavender in somewhere, but i don't know.

Zach is growing so fast. He'll be one at the end of the month! We're planning a small BBQ for a few other couples we know and a little cake for him. He's walking everywhere and gets so excited doing it. He also climbs EVERYTHING. His newest thing is to climb up the tv cabinet and stare at the tv for a while. But then, he can't get down and starts to cry. Yesterday, I had moved the trashcan in to the dining room so i could mop the kitchen... I found Zach sitting on the floor, trashcan pulled over, with black beans, salsa, tea bags, a bottle with some formula I had to throw away and more, all over the floor. I said "What did you do!" and he just looked at me and smiled and clapped. How are you suppose to stay serious and "discipline" in that case when all I'm trying to do is not crack up laughing, even though I'm really kind of mad. The way kids can make you get past anger is amazing lol.

Jon's sister had her baby, Christopher Damian, on Friday night. He was born at 11:57pm, and her birthday was Sat. heehee. He just barely missed being born on her birthday. Congrats to Mary and Tim! One of Jon's sisters also got engaged recently, so it looks like we're going to be going to MO in Jan. I'm really hoping we'll be able to get to FL some time at the beginning of next year as well. Anyway, that's all I can think of right now. OH! And I may have posted about it before, but we LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE our new house. :)

my quirks

Ok, I haven't posted in a while, so here's something funish... I was tagged by Viviane to list my 6 quirks. THis is hard bc I don't really think I have any lol...

1) I have a certain way I liked the dishwasher loaded and it annoys me when Jon doesn't load it that way.

2) I have a certain way I bathe in the shower, and cannot switch it up.

3) This one is really gross just to warn you... I HATE zits and if I see one on me, I pop it immediately... and on my husband lol- He HATES that lol.

4) My hair always has to be pulled back, either 1/2 ponytail, ponytail, clips, something. i cannot stand for it to be in my face.

5) idk if this counts... but I hate it when people make comments on other people's family planning, whether it's "was that a surprise?", "Do you have a tv?", "When are you having another one?", "are you getting fixed after this?", "Are you going to have 15 kids?", etc etc etc. Especially when you don't know people's circumstances, have they been trying and not been able to get pregnant? etc.

6) hmmm.... I'm really not sure about a last one... OH!!! Goldfish. I LOVE goldfish (the crackers) but I HAVE TO eat every one by putting in my mouth, to the side, and splitting it down the center with my teeth. EVERY ONE I eat is eaten like that.

There you go E...

New week

This week is going a little better. This past weekend when Jon was off, we got the kitchen completely unpacked, I was able to sweep and mop, our dishwasher was replaced with a working one, etc. Having an unpacked, organized kitchen has really helped me feel better about the week.

It also has been raining, thank God! It's so much cooler! It's 59 degrees outside right now. Soooo nice :)

Jon and I decided we DESPERATELY needed a date. I don't think we've been on one since Feb, for my birthday. I have so many things I want to talk to him about, but I haven't brought them up because I know they're things we need time to talk about. Between moving and trying to unpack, Zach, and Jon's work schedule, we just haven't had time. For example, we have yet to even really talk about the fact that hey, we're having a girl. So we've asked someone to watch Zach for us this weekend. We're going to dinner, and then we might go see the Batman movie at the IMAX.

In Zach news, he's been so cute. Well, except for climbing on EVERYTHING, but he's also trying to walk. He actually took his first step yesterday! And then he did it again today and then accidentally took 2 steps at one point. He's either scared, or, it's so cute. You stand him up to get him to walk and he gets so excited about standing by himself that he claps or raises his hands like "YAY!!!" and then falls from the excitement lol. It's pretty funny. He's VERY quick. Open the fridge or the bathroom and he's there instantly to get in to it. the other day, i wasn't paying attention and found him in our bathroom, water all over the toilet seat and he had chewed on the toilet paper lol. He chews on everything! My flip flops look like we have a puppy in the house haha. He's such a cutie and a nut lol. Definitely keeps me on my toes!