Totally blessed

Well, we had a long list of things we "need" for Hannah. I went to evaluate it yesterday, and the only thing missing is a mattress and a sling! We were given her crib... then our friends gave us 4 boxes of baby clothes size 0-9months! Not to mention lots of girlie blankets, one of the shower-cap type car seat covers for the winter, and more. Then we needed a dresser. We decided to look at goodwill, thrift stores, etc, because the cheapest we could find in a store was over $100. Well, we found one at a thrift store for about $50, which was our budget, that is so cool. It's like an antique woman's dresser, which goes with our "theme"-porcelain dolls and elegance. We also bought paint this past weekend, but won't be able to paint for a while still.

In other news, Zach turns one on Sunday. HOLY COW! We're suppose to have a party for him on Sat. However, he's been sick :( He had a fever on Sunday, and has had a runny nose since. I'm trying everything possible, hoping it's better/gone by tomorrow. I don't want to have to cancel!! :( Anyway, I think Zach is finally asleep, so I'm going to take the chance to take a shower and try to clean the bathroom.

Down!

So, Zach has finally figured out how to climb DOWN the stairs! You have no clue how happy this makes a very pregnant mommy who no longer has to lug the 25+lb kid down them. Yesterday, I heard him throwing something down the stairs, then a few seconds later, I noticed his voice was "lower" so I went to look. He had thrown his sippy cup down the stairs, gone to get it, and was climbing back up them. ::Ahhh...:: Amazing how the simple things in life can make one happy. He's cute on the stairs though. He KIND OF says "Down" when going down them and says "Up" when coming up them.

Because of this, he's doing a LOT more climbing. He can ALMOST get up on the couch on his own, and can completely get down on his own. He has a little tikes castle in the den, and has figured out how to climb up it, then loves to slide down and clap at the bottom. It's sooooo cute! This morning, for the first time, instead of sliding down the slide, he just decided to push himself off the side hahaha. He was fine, landed on his legs instead of his feet though. He's playing on the couch next to me as I type, squeeling and laughing. He's such a nut!

He's getting so good with walking too. Our playgroup at church started a Bible study yesterday which I'm so excited about! When I picked him up from the nursery, he walked too the stairs, climbed up all of them (basically 2 flights), then walked all the way to the parking lot, when I decided it'd be better to carry him. He tripped a few times, but stood right back up and kept going. He loves to walk.

In other news, it's 9:30am. We've been up an hour... I REALLY need to make my eggs and get him some breakfast and do SOMETHING around this house today, or maybe even sew when Zach's asleep?? I don't know... but the house is NOT up to par!

self-encouragement

This post is really more for myself, to come back and read when I'm not thinking clearly the coming few weeks. But, if you want to add encouragement, I sure could use it and would appreciate it!

I've always struggled with bad anxiety, and it seems to be the worst it's been in a looooong time. I'm so nervous about Hannah's arrival. For one, the doctors want me delivered by 37 weeks... so we decided the other day to figure out when that was, since I've been saying I'm due Dec 7, but really... that's Nov. 16! That's 9 weeks from today! AHH! (And Zach's one year birthday is TWO weeks from today!!!) Ok, so that just freaked me out...

But then, if you don't know, I had a c-section with Zach and am praying for a VBAC (Vaginal birth after cesarean) this time. That leaves a LOT up in the air. For one, I have to go in to labor on my own prior to 37 weeks... So, that's one thing giving me anxiety.

Then, I have to pray she's not too large. Zach was born at 36weeks and 6 days, weighing 9.4 lbs. I think had things progressed differently, I really think I could have delivered him. The doctors say that if she's bigger than 8.5, yes, 8.5, they don't want me to try!!! :-0 Ok, I can say too bad and try still if I want... I think I'm willing to try up to 10 lbs, but idk, so that's all on my mind. And of course, she's measuring big already. (SoOOO not fair to me, because they blame it on my diabetes. While part of it is my diabetes, it's also that WE'RE NOT SMALL PEOPLE!!!... and I am taking GREAT control of my diabetes, it's just something that happens to diabetics)

My other option is that if I get to 37 weeks, and am already dialated a little bit, they can give me pitocin in really small dosages and watch out for uterine rupture. But all that scares me! Pitocin means stronger contractions, meaning I'd be more tempted to settle for an epidural, which could slow down labor like it did with Zach.

So, in a nut shell, I'm really worried about going in to labor, on my own, prior to 37 weeks, and everything that labor itself entails. I really, really want it to all work out and be "the perfect birth." My personal self-encouragement? God is in control. Whatever happens, God has Hannah and me in His hands and will take care of us. He knows the desires of my heart. He knows we want a VBAC because Jon and I really want 5 children. I need to know/remember that God knows that, and if he has me end up in a c-section again, he's got his reasons and that he will either change the desires of our hearts, or make it ok for 5 c-sections, or allow us to adopt. It's one of those things that I know God's in control, but when I'm uptight with anxiety, I forget about it or ignore it and need a good reminder.

So that's the basic anxiety part, but then, there's the childcare issue for Zach... Jon's best friend said he will watch Zach (he's currently a SAHD) but, he's trying to get a job. I have two women I'm hoping to ask from church who are SAHMs. I have been trying for like 2 weeks, with no luck yet, so here's praying I'll be able to this week.

Plus, trying to get everything else done, like making Hannah's bedding, painting her room (finding out if we can), trying to decide if we want to do childbirth classes again or not, Jon getting the time off, buying a dresser and mattress, putting that and the crib together, washing all of her clothes, trying to decide if she'll be born when it's warm or cold, etc. etc etc. With Zach, I had said I'd start getting anxious and nervous in Oct(he was due oct 22), but he showed up Sept 28, so I never had a chance. This time, it's all so overwhelming!!! Ok, I'm done.... If you read all of this, thanks for reading.

Lesson learned and scary moment

Well, Jon got to do the first "Honey fix-it project" the other night... PSA- Do NOT run the disposal with the thing FULL of carrot peels, and then try again after the sink starts to fill up. He had to disassemble the disposal, and a huge pile of carrot peels fell out, along with all the water that had filled up in the sink. Note to self- next time, just throw them all away instead. It's not that hard.

So yesterday, I got the chance to go shopping- ALONE!... when Jon called and I could tell he was really upset (totally unlike Jon!) Apparently Zach had found a quarter and Jon went to grab it and Zach shoved it in his mouth. Jon said he was up to his knuckles in Zach's mouth trying to get it out and that Zach was starting to turn blue by the time he got it out! Praise God Jon was able to remain calm and get it out. I honestly don't know if I would have been able to remain calm. And thank God he was in the same room, because Jon said he couldn't make any noise. Jon was sooo shaken up and said he's never been so scared in his life! Poor Jon kept having bad "what-if" dreams all night long.

How do kids manage to find the small things, the things you don't even realize are hiding where they're hiding?? He's sooo good at it. This has just scared both of us a lot.

Today

Today has been a little frustrating. Zach woke up twice in the middle of the night, which has become more common for him, grrr. Then I heard him wake up about 8:30 talking and thought "I'll lay here just a few more minutes"... next thing I knew, it was 9:30 and at this point, he was starting to cry to get up. I felt kind of bad. So we got up, I fed him, but he was grumpy in his high chair. I made my eggs and english muffin, got him down and (Warning- gross alert) within seconds of me setting him on the floor, my breakfast came back up. I was like what the heck!?! I haven't been in over 15 weeks! Thankfully we had a small trashcan sitting in the dining room, because I wouldn't have even made it in to the kitchen. So I felt really gross this morning.

About 11:30, Zach was acting sleepy, so I put him to bed for what is usually a 2 hourish nap. No, he played and talked and whimpered for 45 min, so I finally got him back up and he played until 1:30 when it was so ready for bedtime. Put him to bed, and he fell asleep for 25 min!!! I was so annoyed. I didn't even get the dishes finished. So I got him up, finished the dishes, and when I closed the dishwasher, he just lost it and wouldn't stop crying for like 3-4 minutes, so I put him back to bed. He's in there now, kind of whimpering. We'll see if he falls asleep. I REALLY hope so because I'd like to clean the bathrooms while he's sleeping and maybe even take a shower myself. So, that's been today thus far. Exciting huh? Oh, and Jon's working. He'll be home around 6. I'm a bad wife and haven't even thought of dinner yet. All I can think is "Ordering a pizza sounds great." because it's just been one of those days...

In other news, we're feeling so blessed and thankful. One Wed., one of the mom's in playgroup came up and asked me if we needed a crib. Apparently her neighbor was done with theirs and wanted to give it to someone who needed it. And boy do we! That's one of the things that's been hanging over our head to prepare for Hannah. I'm so thankful. Jon just keeps saying "See, I told you it'd all work out." haha.. yeah, I know, he just has better faith than me sometimes. Well, that's all folks.

Actual post

I guess I can do an actual post too... Umm... I'm 26 weeks pregnant with Hannah. (lol, I wrote that without the word "weeks"... trying to make myself older than I am heehee)... she is soooo different in the womb that Zach was. she flips and rolls a lot. Breech, transverse, normal, etc. It's really weird and odd. I'm starting to get really anxious. I have this huge feeling that she's going to come really early, so I've made a list of things we need to do to get ready. The one that's stressing me out the most is trying to set up childcare for Zach when I go in to labor. Plus there's paying off the doula, finding childcare for birthing classes, taking the birthing classes, writing out my birth plan, painting Hannah's room, getting new furniture for Zach (she gets the nursery furniture since it has the changing table), etc etc etc.

In other news, I'm learning to sew. I couldn't find what I wanted in baby bedding for the price I wanted, so I'm making it! I've made Zach a new set of sheets (Flannel green camo with frogs on it heehee) and I've made Hannah's sheets. I think I'm going to make the dust ruffle next, if not the bumper. The material is 2 kinds... one is pink with what looks like a white overlay. However, the overlay isn't an actual overlay, it's printed in the material. But I felt like it was too much pink, so I got white material with pink polka dots to calm it down a little. Now I'm trying to decide though if I want to paint the room pink as well, or if that'd be too much. I'm thinking about trying to throw some lavender in somewhere, but i don't know.

Zach is growing so fast. He'll be one at the end of the month! We're planning a small BBQ for a few other couples we know and a little cake for him. He's walking everywhere and gets so excited doing it. He also climbs EVERYTHING. His newest thing is to climb up the tv cabinet and stare at the tv for a while. But then, he can't get down and starts to cry. Yesterday, I had moved the trashcan in to the dining room so i could mop the kitchen... I found Zach sitting on the floor, trashcan pulled over, with black beans, salsa, tea bags, a bottle with some formula I had to throw away and more, all over the floor. I said "What did you do!" and he just looked at me and smiled and clapped. How are you suppose to stay serious and "discipline" in that case when all I'm trying to do is not crack up laughing, even though I'm really kind of mad. The way kids can make you get past anger is amazing lol.

Jon's sister had her baby, Christopher Damian, on Friday night. He was born at 11:57pm, and her birthday was Sat. heehee. He just barely missed being born on her birthday. Congrats to Mary and Tim! One of Jon's sisters also got engaged recently, so it looks like we're going to be going to MO in Jan. I'm really hoping we'll be able to get to FL some time at the beginning of next year as well. Anyway, that's all I can think of right now. OH! And I may have posted about it before, but we LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE our new house. :)

my quirks

Ok, I haven't posted in a while, so here's something funish... I was tagged by Viviane to list my 6 quirks. THis is hard bc I don't really think I have any lol...

1) I have a certain way I liked the dishwasher loaded and it annoys me when Jon doesn't load it that way.

2) I have a certain way I bathe in the shower, and cannot switch it up.

3) This one is really gross just to warn you... I HATE zits and if I see one on me, I pop it immediately... and on my husband lol- He HATES that lol.

4) My hair always has to be pulled back, either 1/2 ponytail, ponytail, clips, something. i cannot stand for it to be in my face.

5) idk if this counts... but I hate it when people make comments on other people's family planning, whether it's "was that a surprise?", "Do you have a tv?", "When are you having another one?", "are you getting fixed after this?", "Are you going to have 15 kids?", etc etc etc. Especially when you don't know people's circumstances, have they been trying and not been able to get pregnant? etc.

6) hmmm.... I'm really not sure about a last one... OH!!! Goldfish. I LOVE goldfish (the crackers) but I HAVE TO eat every one by putting in my mouth, to the side, and splitting it down the center with my teeth. EVERY ONE I eat is eaten like that.

There you go E...